everyone is gay

The fourth song off the GAYEST COMPILATION EVER MADE. 

Here’s a video for your eyes to FEAST UPON. 

ONE WEEK ONLY buy this song for $2 here

Buy the Compilation HERE!!

kristinnoeline:

Just another day at the office!

Also, this is us trying to learn a hip-hop dance, FOR YOU.

Personal Post Canada(y)!!!

Dannielle Says:

LOOK YOU GUYS.  WE’Z ON TV!! 

Thank you New.Music.Live. and MuchMusic and Liz Trinnear!!

Kristin Says:

ABOOT!

“My girlfriend is a blanket, pillow and stuffed duck stealer! I was up in the middle of the night freezing my butt off, and she’s buried in this little nest of fluffy things. Plus, when I try to snuggle up, she freaks out and says that I’m ice cold! Any advice on how to fix this?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

1. Wake her up everytime she steals something and tell her she’s stealing. 

2. Put your cold feet on her warm back when she’s asleep.

3. Write her a really long a dramatic letter about how it’s not going to work between you two because she’s so selfish and possessive and you want to be able to sleep with other people, and then sign the letter ‘blanket’

4. Get your own blanket and make her roll you up in it like a burrito. 

5. Start sobbing really loud every time steals something soft.

6. Make her sleep on the couch.

7. Write her a poem with the phrase “no kisses for the missus if my blanket gets the disses”

8. Get a trundle bed. 

Kristin Says:

1. Get another stuffed duck (approx. $12)

2. Get another blanket (approx. $25)

3. Get three more pillows (approx. $18)

4. Put a jar on the nightstand that says: THIEVERY DUES

5. Tell her she owes the jar $55.00 in dues for the additional sleeping materials, and that she will be charged $5.95 for each item she steals, per night.

6. Use the funds gathered to, first, pay yourself back plus interest, and second, go on a romantic vacation.

“I’ve always loved babies, but lately I’ve become obsessed. I’ve been looking up names, and it’s like I have the overwhelming urge to have a baby. I am no where in the situation where that would be plausible, let alone a good idea. I had a little break-down last week when my father told me he didn’t believe in gay adoption. I guess the reality that it could be really difficult for me to have a child hit me. Do many people usually feel like this?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

You guys, remember in JUNO when she got pregnant? It’s like THAT COULD NEVER BE ME… and it’s soooo depressing. I mean, no, it’s not depressing bc like, if I got accidentally pregnant right now my life would be totally different and I would cry all the time bc I would be pregnant and wanting to drink pickle juice while crammed in a car and touring high schools…so like… it would be bad timing, BUT YOU GET MY POINT. 

The thing about being unable to have chitlins with two uteri or two peni or a uteri and peni that aren’t able to make babies is that sometimes it can take upwards of five years to get approved for adoption, or it can cost upwards of 50k to get a surrogate. It’s expensive and you wait forever and it can be so draining and terrible and I am already dreading the day BUT ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN THIS:

because if some part of you doesn’t squeeze and squish and melt and make a noise that stays in your throat…you and i have nothing in common… 

I think that most of us hit a stage in our lives where we just wanna smash our cheeks on a baby cheek. I also know wtf you’re feeling when you say you’re getting discouraged and sad bc it will be such an ongoing intensive experience and that is SO HARD to actually wrap your head around. 

It will take time and it will be worth it. All you can do now is know your dad is COMPLETELY WRONG IN HIS CLOSE-MINDED WAY OF THINKING, and there are so many of us who feel exactly what you feel.

Kristin Says:

Well. Here’s the thing. It absolutely does NOT have to be that hard to have a baby. Dannielle gave some examples that can be true, but are also some of the extremes of the situation.

I have friends who tried for six months to have a baby through the way of the sperm bank, and they were so discouraged and giving up hope because nothing was working… and then an incredible friend of theirs stepped forward and said he wanted them to try with him as the donor. They literally flew out to where this boy lived, used a plastic syringe to move the sperm from a cup to my friend (#sick) and got pregnant. THE FIRST TIME. WITH NO DOCTORS AND JUST A SYRINGE AND SOME GROSS SPERM.

No offense, sperm.

I also just learned about a place here in Manhattan called Spence-Chapin that does adoptions on a sliding scale based on income, and where they work with the women who are pregnant to make sure they are taken care of (an important and often overlooked part of the adoption process), and where the wait for a baby is typically between 6 months and 2 years.

So, let me tell you that, while I understand it being an overwhelming feeling, when you are ready for a baby to be a part of your life, you can make that an absolute reality. It may not be as easy as boning your loved one in your bedroom, sure, but it certainly doesn’t have to be a drawn-out, never-ending battle.

As far as your dad is concerned, I am going to stop short of calling him ignorant (although that is an incredibly frustrating concept that many people have AND I CANNOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND), and tell you to ask him if that means he doesn’t think you will be a good parent. Ask him why he feels this way, and try to talk to him about the way you see things, and the reasons you know you will be a good parent to a child. It may take him some time, it may never be something he agrees with, but you should at least begin in a place where you are trying to help him understand that any baby would be the luckiest pipsqueak on Earth to have to loving parents. Then show him this picture of Romeo, who has two moms and is the happiest, cutest little shit I’ve ever known:

“Is it weird to Want to be androgynous? I like walking the thin line between genders. I like when people can’t quite tell because then they’re getting me, not male-me or female-me. I know a lot of people switch completely, but does anyone ever want to just bind the top without surgery or anything on bottom? Is it weird that I want to be so in the middle that no one can tell where I started? Or that I want to answer male or female with YES?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

Not at all. 

There are soooo many people sitting at their computers right now wishing they could feel the way you feel. Or at least, understand their feelings and that it’s okay to feel that way. Lots of us sit in our own skin for years and years and can’t figure out exactly what makes us comfortable, but YOU, YOU LUCKY BASTARD, you have figured out what makes you comfortable and you’re owning it. 

There might be some people who tell you that you’re doing something “wrong” because they think you should “chose”…those people are not being fair and they are not right. I want you to know that in your heart of hearts, bc people telling you that you’re wrong over and over can really bring you down and you don’t deserve to be down-broughton…

I’m making up words here, but the point is, you are who you are and who you are is awesome and keep on being you. #boom You absolutely are not alone and you absolutely are not weird.

Kristin Says:

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I started this post, “Girrrrrrrrrrrl, you are so not wrong.” Hilarious and probably insulting, but like… the thought of it made me laugh. WHATEVER. EVERYONE GET OVER IT.

„|„

Aaaaanyway. Fuck to the no, that is absolutely not weird, Andogynonymous. The thing with gender is that, regardless of how you look at it, it’s troubled as fuck (see: Judith Butler’s “Fucking Gender Trouble” #gradstudentjoke). The things that inspire us to identify as “girl” or “boy” or in between are primarily socialized - and the fact that you’re like, “I don’t want to fit it here or there, I want to me ME, and this is who I am,” is wonderful.

It is near-to-impossible to escape gender completely, but it is completely possible to challenge gender in your everyday life - or to just be who the hell you are and see where that lands you. Some people consciously reject gender and make decisions specifically because they view the system as totally troubled and they are like, “Take THAT troubled system, I don’t have to answer to you.” Others, like yourself, are most comfortable identifying in a space between or outside of gender - it is what they feel on their insides and what makes the most sense to them. Some, like myself, see the trouble with gender and meditate on it, but love to wear heels and get their nails painted and are like, “Well, whether socialized or not, I damn well like the way this feels and looks, and that doesn’t mean I can’t think about what it means while expressing myself the way I like most.”

Bind your top, answer to he and she, and smile when people look at you twice because they just “can’t tell.” The bottom line, as Dannielle already said is that you know who you are and you know what makes you feel comfortable in your skin, and that is fucking awesome.

Rock out with your cock out.

JUST KIDDING AGAIN YOU GUYS. #badgenderjokes