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  • "How do I get creative? I just really wanna DO something, but I’m usually pretty clueless. I always end up dreaming about love instead of making myself useful. I’m determined to stop ths behaviour, but I was wondering if you have any concrete tips how to get, like… new ideas!"

    - Question submitted by Anonymous and answered by Kai Davis as a part of Everyone Is Gay: Second Opinions

    Kai Says:

    While I can’t tell you or teach you how to create new ideas, I can teach you to recognize them when they happen. I think that most people, including yourself, are under the impression that every kind of creative inspiration must be a gleaming beacon of profundity and wisdom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming about love. Love permeates through life in ways we cannot even fathom. There is value in exploring its vastness. Anything that makes us aware of ourselves, of others, the world around us, or even the spiritual word is useful and important art. There is no right or wrong way to be creative. Whatever ideas you find yourself thinking about, no matter what it is, can be interpreted as divine signals to explore those ideas through art.

    You must also let go of “newness.” There is no new idea, especially when it comes to art because art is humanity and our collective consciousness allows us to sometimes think and feel with the same hearts and minds. Every idea you have or I have has been thought of and executed before in a million different ways. That alone should be inspiring, not discouraging. Because now you have the opportunity to make us see something familiar in a unique way. And if you find yourself thinking about the same thing over and over, writing the same poem, drawing the same picture, do not feel disheartened. There are some things that I’ve written about many many times, because some things are always relevant. And some things just need to be written or drawn or sung about a thousand times because this is how we have to cleanse. “New” is just a bright shiny word. We should never dwell on it too long.

    If you want some concrete tips, I can tell you what I do to keep the juices flowing:

    1.      Stream of consciousness free writing. Sometimes you have thoughts in your head that are too stiff or quiet. I recommend writing everything and I do mean everything that comes to your mind for a few minutes each day. That means you don’t stop to think about what you’re writing, you don’t stop to process it and you definitely don’t erase, backspace, or scratch out anything. You’ll find thoughts and ideas you’ve been unconsciously ignoring. This exercise is like consciousness yoga.

    2.      Write down funny or interesting things you hear people say in conversation, in songs, on tv, on the radio, etc. We are often inspired in quick bursts and before we can turn that inspiration into art, it leaves are minds. Keeping a log of thought provoking things you hear day to day can be a great resource.

    3.      Just do it. Yeah I know, easier said than done. But honestly, sometimes creating is like ripping off a bandaid. You have to do it with confidence, quickness, and courage or the process is a lot more painful. Whenever I’m writing a collaboration poem with my friends sometimes we find ourselves writing notes and ideas for days for fear of not having a quality poem once we start. But then we always have to remind ourselves, that if we don’t just do it, we will have accomplished nothing.

    I really hope this helps.

    ***

    Click through to read more about Kai and our other Second Opinions panelists!

  • "I can’t stand my sister’s girlfriend! While I consider myself liberal, this new girl is extremely liberal to the point where she is really judgmental of people who don’t agree with her beliefs. She has said some pretty rude things to some of my friends and family, and I feel as though she judged for things like wanting to be a housewife someday. I want to be supportive because I know her girlfriend is making my sister happy, but her arrogance is really annoying and off putting. Any advice?"

    - Question submitted by Aerielview 

    Dannielle Says:

    This is the WORST. Regardless of what someone’s point of view is, when they’re judgmental and rude to people who don’t agree with them… it’s not cool. It also makes everyone else look super bad. 

    It’s frustrating because if she were kind and having conversations, she might actually change minds. INSTEAD she’s trying to make people feel bad for having their own opinion, which in turn makes them think “oh COOL, SO I GUESS I’LL KEEP MY OPINIONS AND NOT DIALOGUE ABOUT THEM BECAUSE I’LL JUST GET YELLED AT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T AGREE” 

    Fighting fire with fire, you guys. It never works. If I were you, I would talk to my sister and be real with her. I’d say “I’m really glad that you’re happy and I love you and support you, however, I do feel like your girl is isolating members of our family by making them feel crappy for not agreeing with her POV, so that’s a little hard for me.” If I were someone else with more guts, I would talk to the GF and say “heyyy, I 100% respect that we have differing opinions, but the way that you handle it is making me NEVER want to hear you out. Aaaaand I actually think it’d be kind of cool to know why you think certain things, so if you’re down to have a respectful conversation, let’s do that.”

    It isn’t fair for her to be judging your family and telling them they’re wrong for their opinions. A constructive conversation is one thing, judging someone for thinking differently is just not cool. 

    Kristin Says:

    I agree one hundred gabillion percent. Being liberal doesn’t mean not hearing other people’s experiences, and I can tell you that NOTHING makes me more furious than a person who cannot hear the thoughts and varying opinions of other human beings.

    Newsflash: Making someone feel shitty about wanting to be a housewife is JUST AS SHITTY as telling a woman she has to be a housewife. Both scenarios say that as a woman you do not have a choice. Both scenarios create a rigid structure of expectation for a ‘woman’ to fulfill. What your sister’s girlfriend is doing is not “liberal”… it is close-minded, and just as ignorant and bigoted as the actions taken by people who cast homophophia, transphobia, and misogyny our way.

    Now, of course, you probably don’t want to go slinging all of those angry words at someone who means a lot to your sister… but I needed you to know how fucking WRONG that shit is, to at least help you to feel better about your own related emotions.

    I agree with Dannielle and I think you should speak with your sister before doing anything else. Go in knowing that you are being open-minded and fair, and that every human being has the right to have their own opinions and desires without being made to feel shitty. Explain to your sister that you’ve been feeling a little uncomfortable and tell her why. If she seems up in arms, remind her that you aren’t suggesting anyone else follow the path you are following in life, but that you think that everyone in your family should have a right to their own opinions, desires, and thoughts.

    As her if there is a way to broach the situation with sensitivity, and explain that you also do not want to make her girlfriend feel out of place or upset. The calmer and more level-headed you can be about the whole thing, the more likely it will be that you and your sister can figure out the best way to make everyone comfortable.

    If your sister has a hard time hearing you — remember that your wants are not misplaced or wrong at all, and that it just may be difficult for her to navigate between two people she loves. Hopefully, even if you have a rocky start, you will be able to work to a place of mutual respect. At the end of the day, that is all you are after… and it is much-deserved.

  • Day of Silence

    firegirl7:

    Today is National Day of Silence. For those that do not know, Day of Silence is an event where the purpose is to make schools safer for students no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is to bring attention to anti-LGBT name calling, bullying, and harassment.

    This will be my 6th year participating in Day of Silence, and although I cannot be completely silent today, I will be silent when I can and no excess talking.

    I personally was silent for 4 years of my life about being bi-sexual. And since coming out, I have felt better about myself, and only had a few instances of name calling and bullying. I was scared to come out earlier in life because I did not know how people would react and I was afraid of being harassed. That is a problem students, youth, and adults everywhere are still facing.

    By participating in Day of Silence, you are showing that you are an ally for those who are afraid to come out, that you will not harass them, and that you will stand by their side.

    So please, take a moment, and think to yourself, What are you going to do to end the silence?

    Today Everyone Is Gay is recognizing the National Day of Silence alongside all of you who choose to participate.

    <3

  • Episode 103: Gay Boy Love

    "My best friend is in love with me, but I’m gay… What do I do?"

  • "Is my kid choosing to be gay?"

    parentsproject:


    - Question submitted Anonymously & Answered by Dannielle Owens-Reid & Kristin Russo

    "I certainly don’t feel like I ‘chose’ to fall in love. I did, however, choose to be honest about my feelings. I did choose to work very hard and get to a place where I felt comfortable in my own skin. I…

    Only 10 days until the launch of The Parents Project! Here is today’s advice, which addresses the question of whether or not being gay is a “choice.”

  • Our Shorty Awards interview with Sarah Evans, where we talk about our work slash fall in love.

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