I mean, the truth is, she has her reasons, and she has a right to have her reasons. A lot is compromised when people know you’re a gaywad. She already has the entire business breathing down her neck about it, you should be supportive and happy that she comes home to you. I do get it, it’s hard to be with someone who doesn’t want to post pictures of you on their blog and commit to you on facebook relaysh status, but the truth is, it doesn’t REALLY matter.
Something like this isn’t anyone’s business anyway, and the more people ask, the more she avoids, eventually it will calm down. Sure, it’ll be hard for a while and everyone who KNOWS she’s gay will be anonymously annoying about it, but what’s the point? Who she chooses to use a strap-on with has absolutely no effect on the art she creates.
Think about it. If an actor on The L Word says she is striaght, everyone flips out b/c she ‘can’t be gay’ b/c she ‘doesn’t know what it’s like’ and if she is gay, then she’ll never get a role as someone straight b/c she ‘doesn’t know what that’s like’ and people are ignorant and biggoty and assholeish about a lot of stupid things.
Be supportive of her, it doesn’t matter if the person who is interviewing her knows who she’s screwing, but it DOES matter that she loves you, and only you. Be excited and happy that you get to spend your nights spooning and listening to Le Tigre and GirlyMan.
It is absolutely not your place to cast judgment on anyone’s choices, not even the girl who kisses the tip of your nose at night. Your girlfriend’s art is exactly that: her art. She needs to feel supported in the decisions that she makes, especially by those closest to her. If she feels that what is best for this project is to remain silent about her own sexuality, then you should either get behind that or try to let it go.
I am having trouble understanding how that choice is affecting you personally, because it seems that she is out to all of the people closest to you both. I know that sounds a bit harsh, and I apologize because I know you reached out to us for advice with something that you find very frustrating, but here is what I think: this is frustrating to you because you would choose to do it differently if you were in her position. Aside from that, there is nothing that is directly impacting you, and so I think you should push yourself to find a way to understand and accept that loving someone does not come along with agreeing on everything (that would be sooooo boring).
Choose to stand behind her in her decisions.
Unless she decides to sing karaoke “Gypsies, Tramps and Theives” after four vodka sodas, in which case I give you permission to intervene.