Dannielle Says: 

ain’t that a bitch. 

That shit straight pisses me off, too, I FEEL YOU. 

However, where else are they ‘spose to bone?

I would probably talk to her and be like ‘liiiiisten, i’m a light sleeper, i heard you boning, it was gross and i never want to experience it again…if you need to bone your boyf, just text me and say it so i can figure out something to do bc like that shit is nasty… ‘

Try not to be furious. I realize it’s RUDE AS FUCK, and if I were you I’d be furious, but you guys are already in a tiny space together ALL THE TIME you know?!?!! Being calm and cool and collected is key, bc you could be like ‘YOU WERE DOING IT AND IT WAS FUCKING REVOLTING AND I HATE YOU’ and then she’ll be like ‘whelp, guess i got stuck with the overreacting-bitchy roommate’ and you’ll feel bad years and years later when you realize you could have handled it differently. 

I can guarantee you this has happened to at LEAST 90% of college students. You should absolutely sit in a circle with your friends and rant about all of your roommates, but when it comes to layin down the law in your dorm room, do it without all the rage your feeling. 

Kristin Says:

Okay, Anonymous.  I feel you.  No one likes waking up in bonerville USA, and no one should ever have to wake up in bonerville USA.  However, let’s just devil’s advocate this situation for a hot second, okay?

Your roommate has her boo over and they are snuggling.  Then you allegedly fall asleep.  Boo kisses Roommate a little.  Roommate knows she probably shouldn’t bone with you right there, but her hormones are saying “IT ISN’T A BIG DEAL, SHE IS ASLEEP AND SHE WILL NEVER KNOW AS LONG AS I AM REAL QUIET, GO TO BONERVILLE!!” and she’s like…okay so I will just be really quiet, but then she is IN bonerville and she forgets that quiet actually means quiet, plus you aren’t even asleep, you are revolted…and presto blamo, here you are angry because that shit is pretty foul.

Right?

Right.

Perhaps that will take away a tiny bit of the rage you are feeling.  You shouldn’t look at this situation as though Roommate didn’t care at all about you, and that Roommate is just a total shithead, because she may just think you are a heavy sleeper and that she is being really quiet and that it isn’t a big deal.  I suggest, like Dannielle said, that you talk to her - and try to be as nice as possible.

Go over to her side of the room, playfully punch her in the shoulder and say, “HAHA REMEMBER WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP LAST NIGHT?! Wooooo-eeee, that was funny…” Then, when she is mortified and apologizes, just be like, “Hey listen, it’s no big thing because I know you thought I was asleep, but unfortunately for both of us I am a light sleeper.  BUT, fortunately for all of us, I am totally, 100000% cool with you being like, ‘hey, is it cool if i visit bonerville tonight?’ and me going to do my own thing so you can have your space.  cool?”

Ta-da!