-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think it’s important that you know you haven’t hit a wall. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be; terrified, lonely, unfocused, emotional, and overall just feeling like total shit. 

However, I want you to stop. Stop focusing on your failures, stop thinking about the tiny unbearable habits of your friends, stop trying to figure out what’s right for you, stop trying to please the people around you, stop telling yourself you need a girl to make you feel validated. Just. Stop. All you’re doing is making yourself feel bad for having totally normal feelings. So stop that. Feel lost and alone because you ARE lost and alone, and that’s totally okay. 

I don’t think that we go to college to make good grades, I think we go to college to figure out who we’re going to BEGIN to be as a grown-ass human being. And you, my friend, are going to be awesome. You’re going to take your time figuring out what direction you’re headed in, you’re going to surround yourself with people you enjoy and you’re going to wait for someone to come along who will appreciate you. 

Do what you want. Lay in bed all day, watch reruns of FRIENDS for hours at a time, start running for the hell of it, eat quesadillas 6 days in a row, meet new people, talk to the friends you haven’t seen since 10th grade and for the love of MISTER, stop torturing yourself.

Nothing has to be figured out right now, remember that. 

Kristin Says:

What you are describing is likely what 98% of all third-year college students are feeling right now, so…DON’T PANIC. “Having direction” is not something that comes easily to us human beings, Anonymous. What does it even mean, you know? I am sure there are a handful of things that you think you might enjoy doing, and none of them are making you feel like you have found THE ONE THING YOU SHOULD DO FOREVER. 

Nothing - absolutely nothing - is making you feel complete.

I get it. Probably every single person reading this right now gets it. Feeling lost and confused and unmotivated is what most of us do best, and the only way to fight it is by trudging forward and forcing yourself to get up, get out, and get over it.

Last night I felt completely overwhelmed by life, confused and terrified of what my future holds, unmotivated and unenergized, and I told Dannielle that I was feeling horrible and sad. She responded, “Get up and go to the gym.” And I was like, “IT IS TEN PM YOU IDIOT.” And she was like, “DO IT.” And you know what? I dragged my ass out of the chair, put on my gym clothes, and worked out to Whitney Houston until 11pm…and I felt so much better. 

You need to push yourself. Find a local organization to volunteer at, exercise, write your feelings down, listen to music, forgive yourself for failing a class and push yourself to study harder. This life really is what we make of it, and sometimes it kicks us directly in the face. You know what? Stand up, ice your face, and kick it the fuck back.