-Question submitted by Anonymous

—

Dannielle Says: 

Dude, you don’t have to hang out with her friends. As long as you don’t jump on her boner for hanging out with them, you’re cool. 

This is like dating someone who’s passion is carpet thread, and they want to take you to all the thread seminars and you’re like ‘this is boring as fuck and i don’t like it but i’m so in love with you, i guess i’ll go anyway’ …as time goes on you start to hate every little thing about carpet threads, you wish they would all burn and hardwood floors would take over. That feeling of hate, in turn, makes you despise everything your boonugget likes, and then eventually you think she sucks. Just let her go to her carpet thread seminars and you can totally join her once in a while, but you don’t have to be by her side every time. 

As long as you’re being nice and wonderful and not making her feel bad for hanging out with her friends you don’t like, you’ll be fine. We don’t have to have all the same friends as the person we love. We don’t have to eat the same meals, we don’t have to like all the same things, we don’t have to have the same passion. BUT, we do have to understand those differences and find a compromise that works. For you FRANNIE, that compromise means your boobear chills with her friends and you don’t join her every single time.

Kristin Says:

Yup. That’s pretty much the whole kit-n-kaboodle. 

I am most certain that you have it in you to go out once in awhile and laugh at her friends when they drink a little too much and climb on the Ceasar’s head statue in the fountain of the hotel lobby and then steal a mannequin hand from inside of a display window*, you know?

The best thing for you to do is to talk to your honeypiebooface and tell her, “Hey, you. I just want you to know that I love your friends and I love you, but a lot of times I feel a little bit out of it when we all hang out, so what I thought was, let me join you some of the time, and the rest of the time, is it cool if you party it up with them while I do our laundry and drink cocoa**?”

You think she is amazing, you are in love, you are completely willing to give her space and one of your main concerns is that she still get to experience the joys of being in her early twenties…which makes you an incredible girlfriend right from the start. This absolutely does not have to be a deal-breaker. You should just talk to her with as much love as you obviously have for her and find a middle ground where she knows that you respect her friends, so that you are both satisfied with the plan moving forward.

*true events pulled from my sister’s life
**true events pulled from my life