Dannielle Says:

Happy Mothers Day, Momma. 

Three things I’ve learned from you:

1. When lesbians turn gay, they wear track suits and cut their hair short. 
2. If you want to have a baby, you simply ask God and he will give you one.
3. Spaghetti only tastes good when you put it in a pan and shred an entire block of cheddar cheese on top, then stuff it in the oven…aka… baked spaghetti

Kristin Says:

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

Three things I have learned from you:

1. When making a bed, it is important to have enough throw pillows to completely obscure all parts of the mattress. Bonus points if some of the throw pillows have cross-stitched, inspirational sayings on them.
2. You should tell your children that they are eating turkey on Thanksgiving every year for over a decade, and never reveal that they are actually just eating chicken. This way, you don’t have to buy an oversized turkey and have leftovers.
3. Love is much more important than money. Considering this, you should redo your kitchen at least two times each year, regardless of employment status.