-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think you should just be honest and tell her you don’t want to be with her.

I realize that you honestly do think ‘oooh nooo i’m not good enough for you, you deserve sooo much better than meeee’ but a big part of that reason is because you don’t want to be with her. Now, it is totally possible that you absolutely do want to be with her, and because of where you both are in life shit just can’t work It’s totally possible that she is the best thing on planet earth and you have no idea who you are, and when you are with her you feel like you drag her down. If this is the case find a different way of telling her. Tell her you don’t want to be with her - because by saying shit like ‘you deserve better’ and ‘i’m still in love with you, but you could be doing so much more’ you’re literally leading her on and ASKING HER TO CHASE YOU. 

Check in with yourself. Do you want to be with this human or not? If your answer is ‘no’ then find a way to tell her that, be gentle and kind and honest and give her space even though she might not ask for it. If your answer is ‘yes’ then be with her and take some time and space to work on you. If your answer is ‘yes.. but’ then pretend your answer is ‘no’ and let her go.

Kristin Says:

Yeah, dude. You gotta ditch that “she deserves better” line immediamente. #spanish

If I were in love with you and you were like, “Listen, you can do better,” I would be like, “NO FOOL, I WANT YOU, STOP BEING DOWN ON YOURSELF AND MAKE OUT WITH MY MOUTH ALREADY.” You know? You aren’t going to be able to convince me that the reason we shouldn’t be together is because you aren’t good enough BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. Hypothetically.

You get your ex to understand that you do not want to be with her and that she should stop chasing you by telling her in plain English (or whatever language you speak) “I do not want to date you.” Just like Dannielle said. Cut the “buts” and the “ifs” and the other shit and make it clean and simple. Stop engaging in text or phone or internet conversations. Stop following her on Tumblr and Twitter and de-friend her on Facebook. Explain that you need space and that you aren’t taking those actions to be spiteful, but that you DO NOT WANT TO DATE HER and you need time apart from her so that you can both move on.

Breaking up can’t be done half-assed, you guys. Unless you want it to drag on for a goddamn year, you have to take a deep breath, say the words that hurt you both, and move on.

Dig?