-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says:

Be there for her. If we’re being totally honest, there is little you can do to stop a rumor. They’re usually started by someone with super low self-esteem and spread by people who want to make others feel bad. WHAT YOU CAN DO as a friend is be there for her.

When you hear two people talking about these rumors, you can totally step in and say ‘wait what?’ and when they tell you what they heard you can literally laugh at them and say ‘that’s not even REMOTELY true, where did you hear that’ I think handling it a little more lightly is a good way to go about it. Generally, if you get super defensive about something people think you’re lying.

POR EJEMPLO (spanish), if someone is like ‘POTATOSTICK (your friend) is such a slut’ and you’re like ‘NO SHE’S NOT, JUST LAY OFF, YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER’ you will walk away and they will be like ‘who was that weirdo yelling at us, she must be friends with slutty potatostick…’ but if they’re like ‘potatostick is such a slut’ and you literally laugh in their faces and say ‘where on earth did you hear that hahahaha’ they’ll be like ‘omg, we’re so stupid why did we even believe that’ … and you will win.

Kristin Says:

I’d like to add something that I think is really, really important in this situation. You need to let your friend - and anyone else you are talking to - know that if someone does have HPV, that certainly does not make them a ‘slut.’ If you are going around school and defending your friend just by saying, “NO SHE DOESN’T HAVE THAT AND SHE ISN’T A SLUT,” I think you are missing a really important part of the conversation, which is that, in the US, an estimated 75-80% of people will be exposed to HPV in their lifetime. People can have HPV without having , and can contract HPV by having sex with just one person.

So, that’s the first myth that you should DEBUNK.

Second thing here is… what do people even mean when they say “OH MAN THAT GIRL CYNDI SURE IS A TOTAL SLUT YOU GUYS.” If you are going to have a snap-back for these rumor-starters, I would have it be something like, “I think it is incredible that you guys are doctors at such young ages, and that you can diagnose HPV by simply laying your eyes on someone… and that you are soooooo advanced that, even though HPV can be caused by sleeping with one person, you have decided that this particular person must have slept with 800 people… by the way, is that what you mean by SLUT?  When you have that report on ‘how many people makes someone a SLUT,’ I’d love to see the results, because I was thinking I might sleep with you, TOM, but I am already up to TWO, and if THREE makes me a SLUT then OOOOOOOHHH {scary ghost noises} I should probably be careful.” Then roll your eyes and walk away.

The bottom line here is that our bodies are our bodies, and anyone who starts rumors or judges someone about what they do with their bodies is wayyyyy out of line. Dannielle was right in saying that you should, first and foremost, be there for your friend. Make sure she knows that you think those naysayers are a bunch of jerks, that they are completely misinformed, and that you support her and understand things like a human being with a brain and not a poo-head.

Please use those actual terms - I find the term ‘poo-head’ to be an excellent mood-changer.