-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says:

Omg you’re not a loser. We actually have a large stack of these questions in our inbox. People who are 16, 20,  23, 28, 950, etc and all are afraid they’re giant losers because they haven’t ever had a relationship… YOU GUYS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE.  To be honest, I have a ton of friends who have relationships when they were young who completely regret them. 

I don’t believe in regrets #noregretsjustlove BUT I DO BELIEVE we all fall into our first relationship when we’re supposed to. I think everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and even though we might not know what that reason is, we’ll figure it out when we figure it out. 

What does this mean for you?? It means you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in your life right now. Sure, you haven’t had a relationship and sometimes that totally blows. You just want someone to flirt with, to laugh with and to hold and it’s SO ANNOYING that you can’t find someone. BUT YOU WILL, you will run smack into someone who is awesome as soon as you’re ready AND WHEN YOU DO, you’ll think to yourself ‘i’m so happy we didn’t meet when i was [AGE] because i was an idiot and I wouldn’t have appreciated this.’ 

Don’t worry about looking stupid. If you want to check out online dating, do it. If you want to ask girls in cafes out, do it. If you want to flirt with a girl in your math class, do it. One day you’ll fall in love and you’ll be so glad you looked stupid for a little bit. 

Kristin Says:

First: who decides normal?

It’s like… my life experience was never dating anyone until I was 19, then I dated someone for two years… then I was single for two years… and then I dated someone for five years… etc. My best friend’s experience was dating fourteen people in the past fifteen years, and her first girlfriend was when she was fourteen.

Second: you aren’t a loser. 

You date when you are ready to date. I, truthfully, never really “dated” at all. I hated the idea of meeting someone I didn’t know, and so I generally would just crush on my friends until one of them would share the crush and then we’d date for awhile. I am 31 years old and I have had a total of THREE girlfriends and have been on ONE actual  we-don’t-know-each-other-very-well-date… and I am still uncertain on whether the other person even knew I considered it a date.

Third: you’ve got time.

It doesn’t feel like it now, but the span of time that you have between being nineteen and being an old lady (ie: me) is so very large. Whether you use that time to have a bunch of girlfriends or have just one, Dannielle is right: you will look back and be thankful that things unfolded the way that they did.

Life has a way of handing you things when you are ready for them, either to teach you things or to reward you for the things you’ve learned.