-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

hahahahaahahahhahahahaha. 

It’s funny that you trust me to answer this.

Be yourself, shoot some hoops and show off your skills. Wear axe body spray and dance with your friends. LET THE LADIES COME TO YOU.

Kristin Says:

“Shoot some hoops.” -Dannielle Owens-Reid

I have one piece of advice, and I am going to narrate it through a story:

A whole bunch of years ago, I was out at a lesbian bar doing my THANG, dancing, drinking and being merry. Many hours into the night, a girl decided to buy me a drink. I was totally into the idea. After she handed me the drink, she went back to sit with her friends (which I thought was odd, but maybe her bait-the-girl-and-wait-move…). I turned to my friend and took a sip of the gifted-drink. My face instantly contorted in disgust. This was CERTAINLY not my usual vodka tonic.

“What IS this?!” I asked my friend in horror. Perhaps she had misheard me and gotten me a vodka soda? This was one horrible vodka soda, if that was the case. I instructed my friend to take a sip, hoping she could decipher what gross combination of liquids were housed in the glass. She instantly recoiled, saying “UGH! Gross. I don’t know what that is, just go back to the bar and explain. They’ll make you a new drink.”

So, back to the bar I went, making sure my drink-buyer didn’t see that I was horrified by whatever she had purchased for me. “Excuse me, I think this was supposed to be a vodka tonic, but I am not sure WHAT it is… do you mind maybe making me another drink?” The bartender, curious, took the drink and sniffed it. She looked back up at me and countered flatly, “This is a glass of water.”

You guys.

It was water. It was a glass of water. What’s more… I came to find out later that I had asked for a glass of water. I HAD ASKED FOR A GLASS OF WATER AND WAS SO DRUNK THAT I FORGOT AND ALSO FOUND WATER TO BE AS HORRIFIC AS A GLASS OF POOP.

I don’t even remember what happened after that, but I know that I never saw the girl again. So. My suggestion is: Don’t drink too much. Have fun, drink water between alcoholic beverages, and remember that too many drinks just leaves you being a fool like Kristin in 2001.