-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think you have to just stop and rationalize with yourself. I mean, when it comes down to it you can’t (SLASH shouldn’t want to) control everything your boyf does and everyone your boyf talks to. SO, when he’s talking to someone and you’re like ‘WHY IS HE TALKING TO HER HE WOULDN’T TALK TO HER IF HE DIDN’T LIKE HER’ … Think to yourself ‘talking is not the same as making out’ 

That’s generally where everything stems from, you being afraid he’s gonna want to make out with someone else. I have a ton of friends, a lot of them are girls and I don’t want to make out with ANY of them #nooffensefranz. I’m sure you have a ton of friends you don’t want to make out with because that’s how life goes. You have friends and you have MORETHANFRIENDS. You are his more than friend, and you should trust that. AND if you’re feeling wonky about someone, talk to him about it and say ‘i’m feeling super insecure and I don’t know why so just tell me you love me most’

Bottom Line: it’s okay to be insecure sometimes, it’s okay to talk to him or ask him about his friends, it’s okay to be a little jealous. It’s not okay to let that jealousy take over. Before you jump on him for hanging out or talking to someone, have a talk with your own brain and put yourself in his shoes. That way when you approach him you will have calmed down a little and you won’t scream-yell-cry at him.

Kristin Says:

I am a jealous person, and I can tell you that the advice above is SPOT ON, folks. Jealousy is a powerful beast of a thing that will quite literally pop through your stomach like that Alien in Alien if you don’t deal with it - so don’t ignore it. Unless you want to have an alien baby that attacks your boyfriend.

I have found that by recognizing my jealousy as something that is THERE AND PRESENT but generally not at all grounded in facts or reality, I am able to talk about it with my boo. Here is a dramatization:

Me: Hey, I am having jealous feelings about Cynthia.
GF: Really? Why?
Me: I don’t know - and I know you aren’t going to make out with her, but sometimes when you laugh really hard at all her jokes I get a pit in my stomach and also I think she has a crush on you.
GF: Listen. I think your jokes are the funniest and I love you. Cynthia is my friend, but I totally understand why you feel that way, and I am glad you told me. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I know she doesn’t have a crush on me - but even if she did I would be with you, because you’re mine.
Me: I feel a little better for saying it out loud. Thanks for listening. I might tell you a couple more times about the feelings. I have all of the feelings.
GF: Yes, I know.

{makeout, she gives me a pony, buys me a house, and tells me I’m pretty. end scene}

Other than talking about it I HIGHLY SUGGEST sitting with the alien-baby feelings for AT LEAST AN HOUR before talking about them. A lot of times the feelings go in a trajectory that looks like this:

KILL KILL KILL KILL OMG KILL OMG OMG KILLLLLLL AHHHHHH WHYYYYY WHY WHY UGH UGH STUPID EVERYTHING IS STUPID UGH SIGH SIGH SIGH I LOVE MY BOO THO BUT UGHHHH BUT SIGHH I LOVE MY BOO

Wait til you get to the end of that to talk to him. Cool? Cool.