-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think you should focus on the positive when you’re talking to your parents. When they’re like ‘are you strappin down your rack because you wanna be a boy?’ and you scream ‘I DONT WANNA BE A BOY’ … even though it isn’t defensive, it sounds that way. IIIIIIIII know you just don’t really know what to say to that because it’s such a weird question (i mean, when it comes down to it, what does gender really have to do with boobs?? we could talk for hours about that…)  BUT WE DON’T TALK TO OUR PARENTS ABOUT THAT YOU GUYS. So, like i said, it sounds sort of defensive and they automatically think you’re hiding something.

So focus on the positive. Tell them that smaller boobies make you more comfortable and why. You want to be able to wear the clothes you like, you want to feel more confident bc your boobies shouldn’t have to be your body’s center piece, your back hurts less, you can dance way harder, you don’t feel judged immediately… etc. I had a friend who got a breast reduction surgery when she was 18, and because she communicated the positive effects of the surgery to her parents, they totally supported her and were so happy for her when she got it done. Her self esteem has SOARED since then (and she totally has a husband and gets manicures…#stereotypicalgirlstuff)

ALSO PUNKY BREWSTER DID IT.

I think parents are more understanding than we give them credit for… as long as you’re being open with them and they can understand why you’re doing the things you’re doing, they get it. We just freak out on our insides and feel like they won’t get it, so we yell and scream. 

Kristin Says:

OMG PUNKY BREWSTER TOTALLY DID IT.

First off - no, you are not abnormal for binding your boobs. I f*cking hate my boobs, you guys. They drive me insane, they weigh like a million pounds each (approximately), and they annoy me and make me feel gross at least 50% of the time. I’m not sure why I’m not binding my own boobs, honestly.

My relationship with my boobs has zero to do with my sexuality. It’s a body thing for me, and it also has nothing to do with my gender identity. I think there are a lot of people who feel like you, and I think it is awesome that you are doing things to make yourself feel more comfortable in your own skin.

As far as your parents are concerned, I think you just tell it to them like it is - and just like Dannielle said, do it in a calm, even manner. Explain to them that you understand why they might associate boob-binding with gender identity, since it is most commonly shown to the world through a transgender lens, but that for you that isn’t the case, and that if you were questioning your identity you would let them know.

We all have really specific relationships with our own bodies, and learning how to navigate that and how to make ourselves feel comfortable is an awesome thing. YOU ARE DOING GREAT.