Dannielle Says: 

I guess it totally depends on what your life priorities are, you know?

It’s like with anything else. If you really, really love your job, but you wanna make more money. What matters to you more? Doing a dumb job and making a crap ton of money or doing a job you love and being broke? OR LIKE if you really love to work, but you’ll have to quit if you wanna have kids… do you want kids now or is your job what’s up? OR LIKE if you really wanna do theatre and softball but the coach won’t let you do both… you HAVE to chose, even though it sucks. 

Now, in a lot of these cases there are WAYS to get around that shit. Ask for extended maternity leave, ask for a raise, bargain with your coach, talk to your girlf about your sexiness… but when it comes down to it, you’re either willing to try and work it out or you’re not. It is 100% up to you. Some people say ‘f this, i want kids NOW’ and they have kids and they quit their job and THAT IS THAT. My friend in high school chose theatre and never stepped on a softball field again and THAT WAS THAT. We all make these decisions and now you have to do it. SO DO IT. What do you want? How hard are you willing to work for it? Is one thing worth giving up for the other? It’s up to you. Completely up to you. 

Kristin Says:

Here’s the thing. Sex is pretty different when you know someone really well, when you are in love with them, and when they carry a whole host of emotions because of the intensity of your relationship. So - it’s going to be different, yes. That is inevitable. It CERTAINLY doesn’t have to be less-than-amazingly-awesome, though.

If you like sex - you deserve to have great sex. Period.

The catch is that emotions inform how we enjoy sex (or at least, it does for most of us). There may be something emotionally that is making you hold back or feel unable to get what you are looking for from your boo. You have to talk about it. YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT!

I know that saying, “hey, i’d like for our sex to be better” is not the conversation that any of us want to have with the person we love, but it’s possible and it’s important (if you value sex, which it seems you do). Sit down with your boo, and explain that you love them more than anything and love spending time with them and love being with them physically, but that lately you’ve been feeling like you are a little disconnected UNDER THE SHEETS, and you’d love to play around with different things to work your way back together again.

Talk about what turns you on, and don’t say, “WELL WHEN I WAS WITH CYNTHIA SHE DID THIS,” just say, “When I think about you UNDER THE SHEETS, I think about you doing this.” That will your boo feel involved and sexy and able to try exploring things with you. If you have an open dialogue and you trust each other, you can work together and play around with sexy time until you get to a place where you feel much more satisfied.