-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

Chances are, you can’t. Since your mother has been 15 before, she’s probably convinced herself that she owns a gold medal in 15dom. She’s probably not trying to make you feel stupid, but I’m sure that’s sort of what’s happening, yea?

If I were you, I’d be like ‘mom, bro, lets have a chat’ and when she looks at you like you’re a total weirdo for calling her ‘bro’ sit down and act VERY PROFESSIONAL. Say to her “I understand where you’re coming from and I know from all my reading that who I am today is not who I will be ten years from now. HOWEVER, I also know how I feel inside and though it’s very confusing, more than anything I need your support.”

She’ll probably say what she’s been saying all along, she’ll support you if you’re gay but you’re probably not, etc etc. THAT’S WHEN YOU SAY… “I get that, i really do, but can you show me that support now? If I have a crush on someone I wanna tell you, and right now, I don’t feel like you’ll listen or care.” Hopefully, this will make her realize how close-minded she’s being. When it comes down to it, our parents want to protect us, and when they freak out, they can’t protect us… so, she’s probably trying to talk herself out of freaking out by saying there’s no way for you to know. Try talking and if, for some reason, it doesn’t work… keep trying. 

Kristin Says:

When I was younger I used to write down my feelings in my journal and I would also often include a note for my future self at the end that would say something like “THESE FEELINGS ARE REAL, REMEMBER THAT.”

I am sure that the reason I felt so compelled to write my adult self those notes as a teenager was because of how many people around me were making me feel that my emotions weren’t “real,” in contrast with the actual, complete realness of those feelings. I say this first because I want you to know that I get it - I understand where you are coming from, and I know that your feelings are real.

I agree with Dannielle about talking to your mom, and I think that you should ask her how she would feel if an 80-year-old lady continuously told her that her feelings weren’t real. That 80-year-old lady might know that there is a lot of growing and shifting that happens from age 40 to age 80, but would that make your Mom feel any differently about who she is right now? THE ANSWER IS NO, IT TOTALLY WOULDN’T.

It shouldn’t matter to your mom or to you or to anyone who you might be when you are 25, because you will get to be that person when you are 25 and right now you are the person you are at 15 - that person is pretty sure she is a lesbian, and that is all that matters. Explain to your mom that your 15 year old self needs her to understand that and respect your feelings as valid - because guess what? 15 year old feelings are JUST as valid as anyone else’s feelings. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.

Also, you could sass her about it and when she says, “You are too young to be gay,” reply “Yeah, well you are too old to know that I’m not, so I guess we’re fucked.”

JUST KIDDING DON’T SAY FUCK IN FRONT OF YOUR MOM YOU GUYS.