-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

You guys… hormones are the worst. HERE COME TWO STORIES. 

(1) One time I was in the middle of a break up with someone and they looked me in the eye and said ‘do you think maybe you’re going to start your period and that’s why you feel like you don’t want to be with me anymore’ -___- I WAS SO ANNOYED. Now, yes, I was totally about to start my period and I was totally extra annoyed and my emotions were high… but you guys… if you don’t wanna be with someone you don’t wanna be with them, REGARDLESS OF JYNE FEELINGS. 

(2) My bffL and I were totally synced at one point in time and it was the worst bc when she’s PMSing she thinks everyone hates her and when i’m PMSing I hate everyone. So, we would be in the car and I’d be like slightly annoyed at everything and she’d be on the brink of tears and we would literally be listening to Taylor Swift and driving to Dairy Queen… BUT WE COULDN’T HELP HOW WERE WERE FEELING HORMONALLY…Eventually we figured out what was going on and decided that PMS time was only good for watching sad movies and eating doritos, so that’s what we did. 

I think there’s a way to pinpiont how you’re both feeling and come to an agreement on what is to be done. Whether that means you don’t hang out for a few days or it means you only hang out in silence and darkness while you watch THE NOTEBOOK (STARRING ME) i dunno.. you’ll have to figure it out betwixt the two-a-ya. AND CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF. If you’re crying and she’s being an asshat and you wanna snap her femur in half… maybe that’s a sign that things aren’t going so well, and you just needed an extra push to be aware of what was really going on. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS YOU GUYS.

Kristin Says: 

Yup. You gotta have a plan.

Here’s what I suggest: There is proooobably no good way for her to control the fact that she is emotional when she’s in PMS-mode, but there should be a way for her to not be a bitch to you. If there’s a couple of days a month where she is more on edge, that seems fair - and I think that the situation will depend on how you both handle those emotions.

For starters… do not call her out on being PMS’d. When you feel like the world is crumbling, you feel LIKE THE WORLD IS CRUMBLING, and ain’t nobody going to convince you otherwise. Let her have those wonky-town emotions, and either give her space or comfort her (depending on what type of human she is/needs she has).

For seconders… if you honest-to-goodness have tried to help, have given her space, or have gently comforted her and she is like “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING AND I HATE YOU AND YOU’RE DUMB” with glaring eyes of rage, calmly look at her and say, “Hey baby. I hate that you are feeling shitty today and I love you. Your words are hurting me, though, so I am going to walk away and take some space, and maybe that will help us get back on track.”

For thirders… if none of that calms her down, the only other thing I can suggest is that you talk to her after she stops raging and tell her that you are having a lot of trouble handling how mean she gets when she is a PMS-monster. Explain that even though you know where it comes from, you aren’t there to be her punching bag, and ask her what she thinks could help the situation.

This should be able to get to a place where she is emotional, yes, but instead of lashing out at you she is able to either curl up in your arms OR hibernate until she feels calmer.

Uteruses are the worst.