-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I would prolly make a big collage of all the women in hollywood and and music sports and what not who have short haircuts / wear pants / climb mountains / aren’t gayheads and give it to her. 

Then I would make another collage of lesbians wearing dresses / lipstick / baking cupcakes…give it to her and scream ‘oh… my …. god… MOM YOU’RE A LESBIAN!’ 

It’s kind of a silly way of thinking. It’s like, she really thinks you’re a lesbian bc you like to wear hats?? FOR REAL… she’s being a goon. I guess, calmly explain to her that lesbians are generally girls who like girls, though the definition is ever evolving, but AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, you are not a lesbo. Then show her a pic of Channing Tatum and say ‘i mean, come on… is anyone really a lesbian anymore?’

Kristin Says:

Hahahahahahaha. Hahaha. 

Listen, not to like PIGGYBACK on Dannielle’s advice, but the idea of you making collages and screaming at your mom that you just realized she must be a lesbian is goddamn hilarious. Do that. Please, please do that.

The bottom line here is that she is mushing together sexuality and her idea of gender roles. Gender roles are fucked up to begin with, so it’s a really horrible thing to use in any sort of logic… but even if gender roles were ACCURATE, they still wouldn’t determine who we like to kiss and boob-touch.

To make it real simple you could just say, “Mom, by that logic, the better apple pie a lady makes is directly correlated to how much she likes penises.”

That’ll get her thinking.