- Question submitted by Anonymous
Make sure they both know your intentions. The WORST THING YOU CAN DO is get mad after you haven’t explained yourself (i’ve totally done this). It’s like, you spend all this time with your booboohoneykissmouth and then one day you’re like ‘hey i need to cancel our date to hang out with LILAC’ and booboohoneykisskiss is like ‘wait… we’ve had this date planned can’t you hang out another time’ and you’re like ‘I NEVER SEE LILAC BC I’M ALWAYS WITH YOU I’M GOING BYE’ … Then you’re in a huge fight and nothing is resolved and you feel awful all the time. You guys, i’ve literally experienced this 100 times.
SO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR REAL IS, tell your booboohoneykisskiss how important your bff is to you. Literally just say, “Hey, LILAC is super important to me and if I don’t spend enough time with her I start to go a little cray cray, so I’m probably gonna be hanging out with her alot” and if booboo is like, “is it because you don’t like spending time with me” SIMPLY EXPLAIN that it has nothing to do with her and your bff time is totally separate. I mean, let’s be real, you probably talk about how amazing booboo is the whole time anyway, AMIRIGHT?!
Do the same thing with LILAC, explain that you’re REALLY INTO BOOBOOHONEYKISSKISS and you’re sorry if you get sidetracked. Tell her it’s totally okay to text you and say ‘HI I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN ONE WEEK AND I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE COME OVER AND WATCH MEAN GIRLS.’ Ya know? Give her that, let her reel you back in when you’ve started to be a bad friend. If you’re clear with your intentions, everyone will feel a lot better and you’ll be able to manage both sides1..i mean !
First of all, I formally reject the nickname booboohoneykisskiss.
Second of all, I think USUALLY what happens in this situation is that BFF gets less time than usual because you are busy having dreamy-eyes and cupid wings and things. That is normal to a point, and I always give my BFFs a grace period of about 4 - 6 months of googly eyes before I take it personally that they aren’t paying as much attention to me.
HOWEVER I AM VERY UNDERSTANDING. So. Whether you are in regular-relationship-ville or googly-eyes-town, do these three things to keep the peace:
1. Have a night every week - TUESDAY, for example - where you go out with just your BFF. It is so important for us to have solo time with our besties, and any
booboohoney good partner will understand the need for that time. Also have a night every week - THURSDAY, for example - that is always date night with your boo.
2. Include BFF in things that also include your boo (or vice versa). This doesn’t mean bring BFF along for date night without any forewarning. It means that a few times a month, at least, you should go to parties or gatherings with BOTH humans and/or make a movie & popcorn night with them if you don’t go to parties… you know?
3. When you hang with BFF, don’t only talk about all the love-town moments you have recently had with (UGH FINE) BOOBOOHONEYKISSKISS. Talk about your relationship, absolutely, but ask BFF how they are, giggle about memories, talk about other things going on in both your lives, etc.
In my opinion, this is a fail-proof plan of making sure that both parties get enough time with you and don’t feel overlooked. Just keep it consistent!