Anonymous said: lately, everything my girlfriend has been doing is turning me on. i know you're probably wondering; how is that a bad thing? but truthfully, i'm embarrassed. now even just cuddling or a short make out sesh makes me really wet. and whenever she notices this she says it's sexy, but i'm not that convinced. i feel like a little boy who has a boner all the time, and it's not normal! is it possible to get aroused too fast? is something wrong with me? how do i control this?! (keep in mind my girlfriend is smokin' hot, which complicates things a little more) and most importantly... i feel like i don't have the same effect on her. which is discouraging... sad face.
soo help? tips? anything?! plzzzz answer my question, i beg of you! :3
desperate horny girl.
First and foremost I’d like to say “SICK” but only b/c the H word makes me want to chew my own vomit. Second and Secondmost, I feel like you should embrace the fact that your boo makes you frisky. I know you said you feel embarrassed, but I mean, think about the millions of people in the world (actual statistic) that don’t feel frisky at all around their sig o’s!! You’re pretty lucky, and chances are your friskitude makes your boo feel the same way.
Don’t be discouraged b/c your mamasita doesn’t want to bone you right after you went number two, or gave the dog a bath, or wiped down gramma with a neutrogena pad. Just because she’s not frisk on the reg, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to throw you down and Eff the Ess outta you.
If she thinks your downstairs rain is sexy, you’re super lucky, you have a lot AYOH juice and she loves it! Embrace it! Yell ‘I am a rainforest’ and jump on top of her…
I, too, was going to comment on my dislike of the word “horny,” UNTIL DANNIELLE SAID DOWNSTAIRS RAIN. Jesus-H-Christ, you guys. Also, I know that internet-laughing at Dannielle on a site that we share is a little like scheduling a parade in my own honor, but … “wiped down gramma with a neutrogena pad” ?! Hahahahahahahaha.
Now, to get to you, Ms. Girl (I have decided that your first name is Desperate and your middle initial is H). I know this is hard to do, but the best possible way to handle this situation is to own your boners. Meaning, don’t apologize for them, don’t begrudge them or be embarrassed of them, and be thankful that you don’t have actual, impossible-to-hide boners (I express my thanks for this daily). I think it is a pretty common thing for those of us who still want to bone like thirteen-year-olds (AHEM, I mean those of you) to feel like we have to apologize for our enthusiasm. It is not abnormal, and there is no timeline for how quickly or slowly you should get aroused. You just need to remind yourself (again and again until it sinks in) of two things: 1. Your girl is totally into you, even if she doesn’t want to take your cargo pants off every time you come in from rock climbing (?!), and 2. If you are turned on and she isn’t into it at that exact moment, just own it, excuse yourself, get down with your own orgasm, and walk back into the kitchen and help her finish dinner.
Chances are, later that night she will be like, “OH MY GOD REMEMBER WHEN I WAS COOKING RICE-A-RONI AND YOU TOTALLY HAD AN ORGASM IN THE OTHER ROOM?! TAKE OFF YOUR ROCK CLIMBING BOOTS AND TOUCH MY BOOBS.”