Dannielle Says:

ay yi yi. I’m not african american, nor am i bisexual, and I also don’t wanna write/play music for a living and yet here i am, a tiny white gay girl tryna give you advice on how to do those things with pride. I know it’s hard and I know it’s scary, but keeping it inside is only going to be harder and scarier… THIS IS MY OPINION. When I figured out I liked girls the most terrifying part was right before anyone knew. The hardest of hard is when you have it inside you and fucking no one knows bc you’re sure if they know you’ll just keel over from immediate heart attack.

You can absolutely sing and write about being terrified, about having things to hide, about feeling out of place, about loving someone you’re afraid to love, about not feeling supported, about how no one could possibly understand what you’re feeling. It is completely possible to write every single word you want to say and every single feeling you have to feel without saying “I’m bisexual and you guys don’t get it.” In fact, I think there is so much to be said about writing all of those things down and NOT saying exactly why. That shit is mad hot. You know? I would FO SHO listen to those songs in my room and cry and know for a fact we’re feeling the same things. Be proud of what you write because what you write is real and true and beautiful and yours.

Also, if you have the burning desire to come out, do it. This is a decision that can only be made by you. If you want to come out, fuck ‘em, do the whole shebang, move to a big new city, come out, become a rockstar and live your life so thousands of little girls will go ‘holy shit, i was feeling that and so scared.’ If you don’t want to come out, don’t do it. Because like, also, fuck ‘em, it’s your life and who you bone is no one’s business but your own. Your songs will still be equally as beautiful and meaningful, plus it’ll be really funny when a little girl is like ‘that’s exactly how I feel about Nick Jonas’ … you know?

Kristin Says:

Oh, hi.

First of all, I am sorry that you live in a place where you have to fear the backlash that comes with expressing your true self.  Dannielle and I have it pretty easy where we live in Brooklyn, but we do know how isolating and infuriating it can be to exist in a place where you feel that no one knows who you are.  We know that because of financial reasons, family obligations, or a million other combinations of life’s situations…you might not be able to just pack your bags and leave at this very moment.  If it helps at all, know that we get hundreds of questions every week from people who are feeling those exact same feelings of isolation and anger. You most certainly are not alone.  

It sounds like you want, at the very least, to be able to express yourself in your art…and you absolutely should.  Nothing makes better art then the pain of feeling alone, misunderstood and angry.  The beauty of music is that you can pinpoint every feeling you are having in your lyrics, and to you it may seem horribly obvious that you are talking about wanting to bone a girl and not being able to tell her…but unless you use those words, the listener always applies their own life to what you have written.

No one needs to know exactly what your music about unless you want them to.  It’s yours.

Write everything you are feeling.  Write all those songs that are in your head.  I guarantee you that most of them will not have the lyric, “I am bisexual / I like girls / Now you know,” AND IF ONE OR TWO OF THEM DO, just play them to yourself until you are in a place or space where you feel comfortable sharing them.

For many of you, expressing yourself through music, drawing, dance, theater, etc is the only outlet you have for what you are going through.  Never cut yourself off from creating - even if, for right now, you are your only audience.