-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

Take this time to connect with the people who matter to you. The great thing about the holidays is that you can catch up with old friends, talk to family members and see people you haven’t thought about in forever without things seeming totally weird. 

One time I was going through a break up and I tried to reach out to a bunch of old friends just to be like ‘you know what i’ve missed you’ and they were like ‘soooo…what’s going on’ it was SO OBVIOUS something was wrong bc we hadn’t talked in forever. BUT THE HOLIDAYS YOU GUYS, they’re the perfect mask for your feelings and an incredible time to reconnect. 

You can literally call anyone and be like ‘hey holidays are making me feel all nostalgic i just wanted to call and see how you’re doing!’ and every human will be so excited to hear from you. It’s also a great time to get away from absolutely everything. A lot of us go back home, go visit family, go to the mall, whatever. We all go out and do things we’re not doing everyday. Take some time for just you, get to know yourself better, go sit in a coffeeshop you’ve never been to and write or read or listen to music and be alone with your thoughts. It’ll prolly make you cry a little bit, but that’s okay.  A little bit of crying never hurt nobody, especially when that tiny bit of crying is in the middle of you hanging out and figuring out why you love yourself so much. 

Kristin Says:

When I got dumped by the love of my life right before the holidays, I listened to “Winter Song” by Ingrid Michaelson & Sara Bareilles on repeat and cried and cried and cried. I also spent an extended amount of time at home with my family, and a whole bunch of time writing about my feelings and going to yoga. I invested myself in my new apartment and my new roommate. I painted my bedroom and I hung Christmas lights in every room. I got a giant tree and invited friends over to bake cookies and drink wine. I cried. I enjoyed the warmth and comfort of those closest to me, I talked about my aching heart, I went to music shows, I accidentally forgot about my heartache in small moments and still remember those moments today… 

Don’t force yourself to “enjoy” the holidays, but rather challenge yourself to experience all of the things that are around you… the pain, the warmth of friends, the confusion, the wonderful array of Christmas movies, the cookies, the heartache, the scarves and mittens and hats… all of it. These holidays are going to feel different because you are also mending a broken heart, and that is okay.

Hug the people you love, allow yourself to hurt in those quiet, wintry moments where your heart spills over, remember that this pain is temporary (no matter how permanent it feels - and I know how permanent that ache feels), be thankful for the beautiful things that surround you. 

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I don’t understand what there is to read into. 

She wants to get wasted and make out. 

CONSIDER IT READ.

If you don’t wanna hook up with her, don’t get smashkerd with her obvz. If you DO wanna get smigtagged with her and totally hook up, do it and be fully aware of your emotions. The worst thing you can do is go into it pretending you don’t have feelings if you do OR PRETENDING YOU DO HAVE FEELINGS WHEN YOU DON’T AND THEN HURTING HER FEELZ. So, just check in with yourself, have a convo in the mirror and get schmickled with your ex based on what your brain says, not what your underpants feel… YOU GET ME?!

Kristin Says:

HOLIDAY BOOTY CALL ALERT WEEEEEOOOOOOO WEEEEEOOOOO WEEEEEOOOOOO

Dannielle is correct. If your ex says, ‘Hey wanna get schneckitty with me while we are both home for the holidays,’ that either means you are going to make out OR you are going to get too sheeshtered and then get overemotional and wind up fighting and calling your mom to pick you up because you still hate her guts and EVERYTHING IS STUPID. Odds are for makeout, but one can never trust the emotions of a shammerhead shark… know what I mean?

If you are home and bored and you know that you can deal with visions of her sugarplums without setting yourself up for an emotional disaster, have at it. If you know that you can’t kiss her mouth without another year of torment, DON’T DO IT. You know yourself, so just listen in and follow your gut. FOLLOW YOUR GUT BEFORE IT IS SHLOSCHTY THOUGH, BC A SCHMIBBITY GUT ONLY WANT TO MAKEOUT IT HAS NO REASONING OR LOGIC OR SENSE.

And to all y’all: Drink responsibly, don’t drive after drinking, don’t be an idiot, and don’t be an idiot. Cool?

#shammered #shmaskerd #smigtagged #scmickled #schneckitty #sheeshtered #shammerheadshark #schlochty #schmibbity

Dannielle Says: 

You guys, it was 16 degrees two days ago…and now it’s 52 degrees. 

And…some people don’t believe in global warming. 

When I was in high school and we were learning about global warming and what not I remember seeing cans of aerosol spray…so for a REALLY LONG TIME, i was convinced that hair spray was the only thing that caused Global Warming…Which made life REAL difficult when I would be in plays and we would use full cans of aquanet…ugh…I can’t believe I basically caused Global Warming. 

Remember AquaNet, you guys?

Also, I’ve been watching a lot of shows about murder lately. There’s this channel called INVESTIGATION DISCOVERY that I literally can’t stop watching. It’s great bc they’ll show pictures of the real people in the middle of the dramatizations and sometimes THEY’RE REALLY CLOSE. But also, there are so many murderers, you guys… soooo many. I’m glad they’re getting caught and stuff, but i meaaaan, I’m convinced everyone is going to murder everyone else bc like LITERALLY HOW ARE THERE SO MANY STORIES ABOUT MURDERS?!?!?! 

Kristin Says:

You guys. About two months ago or something I was like, ‘Dannielle, I think people love it when we tell one story during Personal Post Paturday, what do you think?” And she was like, “OMG, totally.”  Then for a few weeks we both tried to tell one story. So, when I woke up this morning and read her post, I laughed so hard because today her one story is: Once upon a time the weather was weird, and then global warming, and also hairspray, and by the way murder stories.

I love this bitch, you know?!

Aaaaaanyway, I just sat in this bed for about five minutes trying to think of a story to tell you, and the more I thought about it the more I thought about how comfortable my bed is, so…I am just going to tell you something I know you will find compelling and rich: THIS CHRISTMAS I GOT A GODDAMN FEATHER BED TO GO ON TOP OF MY MATTRESS.

I don’t want anyone to worry about how goddamn comfortable a feather bed makes your whole goddamn life, but it is basically like sleeping atop a cloud made of love and sunshine dust. Not only am I enjoying it, but Trey (my cat)(do any of you not know that at this point?) is flipping over the MOON. Every morning when I wake up he is sunk so deep into the feathers that all I can see are his ears.

Below is a slight dramatization of what I mean:

Happy Saturday, gaybeans!!

hahhaah personaly… who am i?

Dannielle Says: 

Did I tell you germs that my dad sent me a text while I was in Chicago that said “Go back to that novelty shop you took me to and get me those clown shoes” … bc that’s real life… my real life.. So, I had to go to this tiny store in boystown called ‘BEATNIX’ and buy my father clown shoes.

Why, you ask?? Because he wanted to wear them TO WORK and then he wanted to wear them ON THE GOLF COURSE and then? he wanted to wear them to STARBUCKS. So, he did. and he thought it was the funniest thing. During Christmas my dad mysteriously disappeared for about 15 minutes and came back to pass out presents WEARING CLOWN SHOES. This is my father, yall. It was the funniest thing. 

Honest to cheese, you guys, this was the best Christmas I’ve ever had in my entire life ever. I miss my family, I love my family, I love giving people stuff, I love traveling, I love Chicago, I love not wearing a jacket on Dec 26th (in SC), I love being with the people I care most about for extended amounts of time… I love a whole buncha shit, you know?

Kristin Says: 

Well, here we are, gaybeans. Here we are at the end of 2011, and what a year it has been, you know? Beyonce got pregnant, Rebecca Black sang a song about Fridays, I can now get married in my home state, and Google+ solidified its place as the stupidest thing on the planet.

Also, we visited thousands of your amazing heads all down the east coast, raised enough money to help us work on Everyone Is Gay full-time, and are planning a 2012 full of incredible, crazy and hilarious things, AND I AM SO EXCITED.

In all honesty, it has been an incredible year, and so much in part to you all and your support of us and all of our antics.  That all said, I wish to leave you with this piece of art to bring your 2012:

Happy, Happy New Year.