-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says:

I don’t think it’d be bad, but I do think you should give it more time. College is MAD confusing regardless of where you go and when you get there. The first semester for me was a complete clusterfudge. College is just so vastly different from being at home and going to high school. They’re always like “high school will prepare you for college” and “college will prepare you for real life” and “internships will prepare you for real jobs” and you guys all of those things are gigantic lies. 

These changes are HUGE changes and there is a lot to deal with. No one tells you that you have to figure out a new city on your own, you have to make new friends, you have to learn that going out on Thursdays is actually very stupid, you have to eat dinner before the caf closes, you have to buy your own tampons, and you have to have serious conversations with your roommate about nap time vs. music volume. AFTER COLLEGE, no one teaches you how to find an apartment, that bills are a lot cheaper if you have more roommates, having a dog is actually REALLY expensive, and you should get renter’s insurance. Regardless of the transition you’re making, the transition will kick you in the ass BECAUSE IT’S SUPPOSED TO… Getting our ass handed to us by life is exactly how we learn and grow as human beings. 

THAT BEING SAID, I think you should give it a year, if summer is quickly approaching and you still hate your school, the city it’s in, the classes you’re taking, and you can’t stop thinking about this other school… go for it. You should always follow your heart, but you should also give yourself enough time to really experience something new. My dad always says ‘no trip is a bad trip if you come back alive,’ not only do I agree with him, but I think it applies to all areas of life.

Kristin Says: 

I agree one hundred and one million percent. As soon as I finished reading this my first thought was, “Anony (that’s your nickname) NEEDS to give it one more semester.” No only that, Anony, but you should do your best to actually give that second semester a fighting chance.

It’s like, in the movie Pitch Perfect #spoileralert, whatshernuts is like EFF THIS NOISE COLLEGE IS POOP and then her dad is like IF YOU JOIN ONE CLUB AND ACTUALLY TRY TO PITCH IN #PITCHPERFECT AND YOU STILL HATE IT I WILL GIVE YOU A PONY #notactuallywhathappens and then whatshernuts is all FINE DAD and then she actually joins a club and IT’S SO MUCH FUN YOU GUYS COLLEGE IS SO MUCH FUN. #endspoileralert

Also, in the movie of my life (title pending), it was my second semester in college when I really found my groove. I started doing more theater, I started hanging out with a larger array of humans, I balanced frat parties with drama parties and figured out all the campus shortcuts. 

Give it another semester and then make your decision. Do it for me and do it for whatshernuts.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

First of all, if you fail your midterms, you get to go to college over the summer…which is really fun (you guys i failed some stuff and had to do maymester courses and then go to spain for the summer so like… )

DON’T FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS THO. 

You have to use our videos as rewards. You study for 30 mins, you get to watch a webcast. Study for another 30 mins, watch another webcast. If you start from the beginning of webcast time you could potentially get in 33 hours worth of studying (64 webcasts and 2 compilations). I’m pretty sure that’s how much I studied for the entirety of my college career. 

OR YOU COULD GO TO DENNY’S AND SIT DOWN WITH A HO-CHO* AND ReeeeeeEALLY HIT THE BOOKS.

*ho-cho, often called “hot chocolate” is a warm thick chocolaty drink that makes studying a lot easier…

Kristin Says: 

You have to go to a place where the internet does not exist. Try 1984 or in the back of a moving pick-up truck.

In all seriousness, though - I have found in the past handful of years that when I need to get work done I have to a) not be in my own house, and b) not be on the internet. AT ALL. If I am in my house I will find a million things to do which are not studying (ie: clean between the tiles in the bathroom or categorize all of my photos by date or color scheme), and if I am on the internet I will simply check my email every three seconds and/or watch videos.

Remember that our videos will always be around, but these midterms are JUST ONE TIME. You can use them as rewards like Dannielle says, but you should structure it so that you study NOT ON THE INTERNET, and when you are DONE STUDYING TOTALLY DONE FOR THAT TIMEFRAME, then you watch a video. Because… let’s be real, after you watch one webcast you aren’t going to shut off your computer again for at least three more webcasts.

GOOD LUCK.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

omg. When I was in college all my friends were like ‘watch out, sophomore year is when everyone turns gay’ and I was like ‘whaatevvveer i have a boyyyfrienddd’ and then my sophomore year I totally turned gay… I mean, I don’t believe that people ‘turn gay’ or that my sophomore year really had anything to do with it, but at the time I WAS PISSED. I hate when stereotypes are right and when I’m a part of a large clump without even ASKING TO BE. So, i feel you. 

BUT ALSO, I’ve learned to embrace that shit. Hard. Nowadays, I just joke along with it because at the end of the day who really cares, you know? When people are like ‘oh you go to LESBO-VERSITY, isn’t that where all the girls are super gay’ you should literally just point to your face and yell ‘GUILTY’ and then they’ll laugh. It’s not really about why you’re gay or when you’re gay or where you’re gay… it’s about being you and being comfortable and being able to make jokes. All anyone wants to do at the end of the day is laugh, so just laugh, accept that you’re accidentally a total stereotype, shrug your shoulders and drink a coconut water.

Kristin Says:

Yeah, dude. Here’s the thing: I, too, totally feel you. I fucking hate nothing more than when someone is like, “Oh, you? I know who you are. You like girls so you probably hate boys and you certainly don’t eat meat, RIGHT?!” It makes me want to grab the nearest boy and make-out with him while eating a cheeseburger.

I am not a goddamn stereotype. I am a complex person with lots of feelings and you don’t know who I am just because of one or two elements that align with what you expect.

ROAR.

That all said… some stereotypes do align with a tiny bit of truth. There probably are more “lesbians” at your school then you’d find at a conservative school - and not because you are different people, but because it sounds like you are encouraged to explore who you are and to think about life with an open mind. That kind of experience allows for a much, much greater range of experience.

Come out, joke about it when it feels comfortable and talk about it when it bothers you. I promise, aligning on one level with a stereotype does not take away your complexities as a human.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

OMGGGGG. This is literally the most embarrassing thing on the planet earth and probably other planets also. 

I would LOVE to tell you to just talk to your dad, but I know for a fact that if I were in your shoes, I would be scared to death to do that. I would honestly probably just ignore it forever. I mean… knowing my relationship with my pops now, now that I’m older and more MATURE AND A GROWN UP *dusts off shoulder* I think I would be like ‘soooo this is awkward’ and my dad would be like ‘daughter, ya know, yah beezniss is yah beezniss’ and then we’d eventually talk about how he doesn’t understand the internet and he thought he was in his email the whole time… 

This might not be how it’ll go down with your dad, but I give you permission to pretend it never happened. The number of teenage boys who’s parents have walked in on them in the throws of passion with their own body parts is OVERWHELMING, and I can almost guarantee they never talk about it ever again bc MY GOD THAT’S AWKWARD. I realize this is a little different, your father disrespected you privacy, he knows your gay, he saw your girlf nakey. HOWEVER, I think you being gay is a totally separate thing and you should tackle that subject however you’d tackle it HAD HE NOT checked your email. Don’t leave your shit signed in anymore, change your passwords, move on with your life and talk to your dad about being gay because he’s your dad and you love him, not because he snooped. 

Kristin Says:

MOVE OUT IMMEDIATELY.

Just kidding… but holy jesus, yeah, that is the worst thing. Here’s the flip side to the embarrassing part, though: in a few months, neither of you will have this horrible thing fresh in your brains anymore, and you’ll be able to argue about regular daughter-dad things like your curfew and which college you want to go to and who is going to do the dishes. I promise. The first item needs TIME.

The second issue here, that your pops disrespected your privacy, is a different story and needs attention. If you feel like you can’t talk to your dad face to face (especially in light of the recent naked-pix-trauma), then I suggest writing a letter. It is important that you let him know three things 1) That you are a grown person who needs privacy, 2) That you know sometimes it is hard to talk about these things, but he should always ask you questions and talk to you instead of snooping, and 3) That you are gay and you’d like to talk to him about how he feels about that, and how you feel about that, etc. Tell him he can write you back if it is easier, or just talk to you when he’s ready, and that there is no pressure for it to be RIGHT NOW.

At the end of the letter, draw a cartoon naked boobs along the lines of:

Love, Daughter

PS: ( . )( . )

…hahahahah you guys just kidding. Also, though, maybe it could be funny and break the ice? Maybe? No?

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I’m one of those people who believes whole-heartedly that everything happens for a reason. I believe in fate, I believe shit happens and it makes us feel AWFUL and then years and years later we think to ourselves ‘wow, i’m glad i did that bc it put me where I am today’ 

You’re allowed to feel bad. We have all been through exactly what you’re going through right now. We’ve been rejected from our dream college, not gotten our dream job, been let down by our best friends and been told we were not good enough. You absolutely will feel THE WORST more than once in your life, it’ll happen over and over for different reasons. BUT I PROMISE it is all happening for a reason. 

You will meet the love of your life at your 2nd college choice. You will take a job you hate and get a promotion that allows you to use all of the creativity you’ve been missing. You will get your heart broken and figure out why you love your best friends more than anything. You will go into debt, you will lose loved ones, you will break bones, you will fail over and over and over. And none of those things mean you are less than or not enough. It means you are human. Don’t focus on all the bad things that have happened because if you do, you’ll miss all the good things that could be going on right now. Find the good, find the positive, focus on those things and make your life even better than you could have possibly imagined. 

Kristin Says:

She’s right.

This past Wednesday, Dannielle and I were SO HUNGRY FOR BREAKFAST in Virginia, and we found a place that had breakfast and drove all the way there, sat down, ordered coffee and got excited about our soon-to-be-eaten eggs. Then, the waitress came over and said, “Oh, you girls know that we stopped serving breakfast, right?” I know that eggs aren’t as important as colllege but OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED.

I took a deep breath at Dannielle’s urging, politely thanked the waitress (FOR NOTHING #jaykay), and we looked up another place, about twenty minutes away. Turns out that the place twenty minutes away was called Thelma’s Chicken ‘n Waffles, turns out that the dude who greeted us was named Bryce and was the nicest man that ever lived, turns out that they have the best omelettes this side of anywhere, and that we got to see downtown Roanoke which is adorable. If that first place had been serving breakfast… we would have been eating in a very nice strip mall. 

DO YOU SEE WHAT WE ARE SAYING?

I know how much it hurts to see something for your future and to have that image shattered. You are allowed to hurt. I also know, though, what it is to reflect back on an experience and realize that every step of the way you were actually headed toward where you were meant to be. You will still have a lot of the experiences you sought after at that first college, just in a different place… and you will have a lot of experiences that you could not have imagined having.

I am who I am today because of the fact that I didn’t go to NYU… I went to SUNY Binghamton. Those professors shaped and guided me, the friends I met there are the reason I am where I am today. Fate has a funny hand in things at all times - so allow that hurt, yes, but get really, really excited for the unanticipated things that are just around the bend.