-Question submitted by Anonymous

—

Dannielle Says:

GOOD ASS QUESTION. 

Don’t you hate that? It’s like, he asked you to a movie, so it should be a date right? But at the same time just because you’re a gay boy and he’s a gay boy doesn’t mean you automatically like each other YOU KNOW?!?!?!

If I were you, I’d keep in mind that it’s okay not to know until midway through your time together. IF he has a thing for you and wants to make out with your face mouth, he’ll send you little signals. If he doesn’t have a thing for you, he’ll be like ‘BLABLABLA OTHER BOY BLABLABLA’ and you’ll be like ‘ooookay’ and realize he just wants to be friends. 

Don’t go into it with your mind buzzing every which a way bc you can’t figure it out, be okay with not knowing. Like most things in life, we can’t figure that shit out until it’s almost over…and once it’s almost over you’re like ‘IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN’ bc everything would have been different…but that’s life, it’s dumb and confusing and you always find out the important shit at the last minute. BUT ALSO IT IS SO FUN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT YOU KNOW?!

Kristin Says:

Yeah…what she said.  The answer here is simple: you go to the movie.

If he is interested in you, then part of the fun will be in the fact that both of you are a bit hesitant and awkward and nervous, and then after four months of dating you’ll be out to dinner with friends and they’ll ask how you met, and you’ll be like, “OMG I HAD NO IDEA IF HE WANTED TO DATE ME,” and he’ll be like, “ME EITHER SO I PUT MY HAND ON HIS LEG BUT THEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE REALIZED IT WAS THE ARM REST,” and you’ll be like, “BUT THEN I SAW HIM STARING AT ME IN THE SCENE WHERE HARRY POTTER KILLS VOLDEMORT AND I KNEW HE WAS INTO ME,” and he’ll be like, “AND THEN WE KISSED,” and you’ll be like, “AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF THE GIRLS AT EVERYONEISGAY.COM,” and then everyone in the whole restaurant will start clapping and Dannielle and I will enter at that exact moment and take our bows.

If for some reason you get to the end of the movie-date-or-maybe-not-date and you still cannot figure it out, just say, “So, have you been on any great dates lately??” …then read his response carefully.

Also, it is totally a date.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

—

Dannielle Says:

Now, THIS IS WHAT I CALL A PROBLEM. 

I would START by passing a note that says ‘can you plz stop being so pretty, it’s distracting’ THAT IS STEP ONE. 

Step two is to try and figure out all the really terrible things about this girl, she prolly farts a lot, and has really smelly feet, and if you cut her face in half i bet IT’S NOT AT ALL SYMMETRICAL… If you realize she’s actually terrible, you’ll be able to focus on your studies, and that’s what’s really important. BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T HAVE SCHOOL WHAT DO YOU HAVE!?!

Jaykay you guys, you absolutely should fail a class bc you were too busy starring at the girl of your dreams. Figure out if your teacher puts notes online, or become friends with that one guy who sits at the front and takes a million notes, join a study group and call it a day. PRETTY GIRLZ ALWAYS WIN IN THIS SITUATION.  

Kristin Says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahem.  I do not support failing a class because of a pretty girl. 

#momtalk

First things first, please pass her that note, unless you know she hates gay people, in which case you should just focus on her being an asshole and then you won’t be distracted anymore.

Second things second, convince yourself that the thing that makes this pretty girl fall for people is watching them take notes and pay attention in class.  Focusing on what is happening in the class can be PART OF YOUR FLIRTING STRATEGY. You feel me?  Leave room for coy glances here and there, and definitely roll your eyes and mouth the words, ‘This class is so boring,’ etcetera, but then make her swoon with your ability to focus despite her incredible beauty.  Nothing makes another person pay attention to you more than your lack of attention toward them.  Life lessons, people.

Third things third.  In my experience, really boring classes usually were also classes that required about a 40% effort level to get a good grade.  If the teacher has put nothing into making the class engaging, chances are they also have put little effort into making things really complicated…so like, you should still be okay to miss a few moments here and there while you draw pictures of the babies you would make together if they could genetically fuse two eggs together. (Assuming you are a girl. If you are a boy, your child renderings can be a more realistic genetic blend.)

Tadaaaaaaaa.