-Question submitted by whatdykeslike

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Dannielle Says: 

EW. EW. EW. GET RID OF HER. 

You guys, this is gross and not okay and you have to talk to her or I’ll be so mad at you and I’ll never come over. 

You can do a few things (1) have a family meeting where you and other roommate say ‘hey you can’t keep doing THESE SPECIFIC THINGS (2) Start a chore chart where everyone is responsible for their own areas, and certain people clean certain things SLASH dishes can’t be in the sink for more than a day (3) ask her to move out. 

You have to like where you live and everyone has to deal with messy roommates, but that shit is just unacceptable. If you don’t talk to her a ball of hate will form in your heart and you won’t be able to get rid of it and you’ll hate her forever. Talk to her, talk to her, talk to her. 

Kristin Says:

RAISINS ON THE FLOOR AND PUKE IN THE TUB IS EXACTLY WHAT HELL MUST BE LIKE.

THIS IS HORRIBLE.

Write her this letter:

Dear Roommate,

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND YOU MUST CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. If you find you are unable to contain your raisins or your vomit, then you should live by yourself or with someone who loves eating floor-raisins and bathing in puke. WHICH IS NO ONE.

Love,
Other Roommates and Kristin Russo of everyoneisgay.com 

I know that sounds harsh but like… talk to her about it, do what Dannielle said and make a chore chart, but if those things don’t succeed… she has to go. That is just. THAT IS. UGH. 

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I’m a firm believer that love is never enough. I also firmly believe you have to do what’s best for you.

I mean, love is amazing / the best / incredible / life changing.. but it’s rarely ever ENOUGH. You know? People are too complicated for love to just work out and all your problems just solve themselves. A lot more goes into making a relationship work and sometimes, regardless of the amount of love the two of you share, shit just doesn’t work out. 

This doesn’t mean you’re broken or they’re broken or you’ll never find love again. It means you’ve opened your heart to someone, you loved and were loved by another human and it was almost perfect. HOWEVER, the big huge thing that is making everything crumble? It’s the universe telling you that there’s something even more incredible out there. There is someone out there who understands you completely and you understand them completely and you have all the same goals and hopes and the two of you are gonna rock the world together. ORRR there is someTHING out there just waiting for you to find it; a passion, a dream, a goal, a trip around the globe…

Everything happens for a reason. It might take you 3 months or 5 years or 2 decades to figure out what that reason was, but trust me, if you work hard and follow your dreams and do what’s best for you, you WILL figure it out. 

Kristin Says:

I agree with Dannielle - love alone is not enough to carry you through life or sustain a relationship. Love is beautiful, necessary, and crucial in many areas in life, but it can’t just stand up on its own and make everything okay. I have fiercely loved many individuals in my life who I couldn’t sustain a relationship with —- and I still fiercely love those people.

Timing is extremely important in shaping that love and turning it into a tool that promotes growth and strength. If I were the person I am today when I started dating my first girlfriend, our relationship would have been entirely different.  I would have handled our fights differently, I would have handled our time together differently… I would have handled our love differently.

Trust me when I tell you that your experiences with love right now - especially the experiences that end in uncertainty and confusion - are the experiences that will lead you to a love that is enough. That love will come along with confidence, communication, independence, vulnerability, and patience. Understand that it is okay to love someone and to walk away from that person when you know that things aren’t right. That isn’t failure - that is growth in its most powerful form.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says:

omg. wear a hat?

I don’t know. The worst haircut of my life was broadcast on TV in front of the entire world and I was like ‘WELP’ … PLUS KRISTIN CAVALLARI WAS THERE AND SHE PROBABLY THINKS I’M AN IDIOT NOW. ugh.

listen, if all else fails, slick all your hair back and use a european accent, pretend it’s a character study you have to do for a class. 

And always remember:

Kristin Says:

I’ve found that adding one million and seven bobby pins in various locations can change a bad haircut into ‘THAT PERSON IS SO CUTE AND QUIRKY’ pretty easily.

Also, headbands and hats.

Also, you could be a total badass and just shave your head.

Also, bad haircuts are totally in right now. #hipsters

Lastly, if you have enough hair left to do this, I think you could bring it back in style:

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think you should let go of concrete answers because they don’t exist?

When you ask yourself “How do I know this relationship will last forever” … you don’t. And that’s life. That’s literally all of life. Think about all the times you’ve asked someone ‘will this job last forever?’ or “will i get an a in this class” or “am i going to be rich within 5 years?” … NO ONE HAS EVER ANSWERED YOU BECAUSE IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO DO SO. 

Trust yourself because you have to. No one else on earth matters to you as much as you do. You will be there with yourself through everything. You will see yourself at your absolute worst and you will get the benefit of seeing yourself grow, mature and achieve things you never could have imagined. Follow your heart, check in with your head, and do what is best for you right now. There’s no telling what will happen after right now, so make now the best now it can possibly be. 

Kristin Says:

Here’s the thing. Most human beings can never just let go of the need for concrete answers, despite the fact that we know we cannot get them. Most of my life is a gigantic question mark, and there are moments when I am in it, calm and enjoying what is around me, alongside many moments where I am in a complete panic because OH MY GOD HOW CAN I EVER KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT.

The best thing you can do is to look back at the years you’ve lived and realize that you never really knew what was going to happen next… but things kept happening, you kept adjusting accordingly, and here you are still living. That’s life.

None of us are ever fully prepared for what our lives will hand us, and that is why, as human beings, we have the ability to connect on such a deep level with each other… because we are all scared, excited, and completely unsure of what comes next. 

You can’t let go completely of the need for those answers (unless you are a REALLY advanced yogi), but you can continue to remind yourself that no matter how hard you fight the current, life is going to take you where it wants, when it wants. Be true to yourself, do the work you believe in for the reasons that matter most to you, and remember that we are all in this together.