- Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

What an AWESOME PROBLEM TO HAVE. 

“Hi i’m anonymous and my girlfriend is super hot and i love her body, HEEEELLLLP” 

K, I’m done making fun of you. 

I think you should talk more out loud about all the things you love about your girlf. AAAANNND talk to her about the parts of your body she loves. BECAUSE HERE IS THE THING, you’re jealous that her body is perfect for you, but your body is probably also perfect for her. Does that make sense? She loves your thighs, your back dimples, your stomach, your clavicle, etc. and you’re not even thinking about how awesome those parts of you are, because you’re too busy loving every part of her. 

Look at yourself, appreciate yourself, love yourself. We are all so perfect in our own little ways. BTW if you do have this conversation with her, and the two of you talk about all the things you love about one another’s bodies… YOU WILL FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT YOU… aaaaaand you’ll probably end up making out AND STUFF. 

Kristin Says:

Hear, hear.

I think that you should absolutely have those above conversations, and I think that your girlfriend’s image of you is crucial to understanding how beautiful you truly are —- but I also think that you should think more about why you are unhappy with your own body. 

If you just love the way her waist bends and the way her boobs boob, then you are viewing specific parts of her body’s form which you can’t necessarily achieve for yourself (because you have your own waist bends and your boobs boob in their own unique way), but if you are like, “Man, her waist is a little flatter than mine and I like that,” or “I wish my thighs were a little more firm,” then this might also be about you wanting to start exercising or eating better or becoming more active so that you can feel healthier instead of aiming to look “as good as” your boo.

Does that make sense?

If this is about how your curves and bends make you appealing to her - then all you need to do is express those feelings you have and use conversation (and making out) to help you build on that confidence for yourself. If you think that part of that jealousy is coming from you wanting to be more motivated in the path toward being healthy - then this is a combination approach: talk to her about your feelings, and also make positive changes in your own life (and perhaps you can make them together!) so that you begin to also feel more centered for yourself.

Tadaaaaa.

- Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I. Feel. You. 

I have no idea why this happens, it’s some sort of weird ‘i failed and you didn’t’ thing that happens in your brain. I mean, YOU DIDN’T FAIL, I’m just saying I feel you and that’s what it feels like for me. Usually I get over it by hiding them from my FB feed, unfollowing their tumblr/instagram/whatever and being overly nice. There is no reason to compare yourself to your ex, but I know sometimes it’s inevitable, so may as well curb that shit ASAP. 

Remember that you broke up for REASONS and if you put positive things into the universe, the universe will poop sparkly rainbows right back on your head. SO, instead of seeing her pix with her newboo and thinking “ugh, why can she find someone when i’m obviously cuter” STOP YOURSELF and think “i’m glad she has someone, love is in the air, soon i will be in love again, love love love, i’m gonna look up pictures of kittens.” Just completely turn it around, because like, who cares YOU KNOW!??!

When you feel stupid, flood your mind with happy thoughts. Force yourself to think everything is awesome. AND REMEMBER, exes are our exes because they suck. 

Kristin Says:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. AND REMEMBER, EXES ARE OUR EXES BC THEY SUCK.” -Dannielle Owens-Reid

{deep breath}

Sorry, you guys. Every once in awhile she just makes me laugh so hard that it makes its way into my answer.

The thing is… we are all the exact same people that we were as toddlers. It’s like, when you were three, you’d be playing in the sandbox or something, and you’d be like, “oooooh, here’s a fun truck!” and you’d pick the truck up and smash it into the wall a few times and make it dig up some sand and then you’d be like, ‘I AM TOTALLY BORED OF THIS TRUCK,’ and you’d put it down and consider making a sandcastle… UNTIL SOME OTHER JERKWAD CAME OVER AND DECIDED TO PLAY WITH THAT TRUCK. Then, a rage would boil inside your tiny three year old frame and you’d demand that this was YOUR TRUCK (even though it belonged to the playground or some other poor sap of a kid who was probably stuck on the swings or some shit), and you’d throw a fit. You’d lose all sense of why building a sandcastle was EVER a good idea when OBVIOUSLY TRUCKS ARE SO COOL, and your entire three-year-old world would come tumbling down around you.

You see what I mean? Maybe not. Here is what I mean:

1. We all have those feelings. It is human nature. So, forgive yourself for the poop-feelings, because it is like… a programmed instinct and it generally can’t be helped in those initial ‘they-have-this, i-have-nothing’ moments.

2. Do what Dannielle said: Remove her, temporarily, from your computer / life / whathaveyou. You need to heal those wounds and constant reminders will not help at all.

3. Remember the kid at the playground. That kid wanted to build a sandcastle, but forgot all about it because they felt like they didn’t have a truck… and they were all WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT A TRUCK?! You are off to a great start because already know that you don’t want that truck back. So, take it one step further and remind yourself that life isn’t always just about the trucks in this world. Build that goddamn sandcastle.

- Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says:

Make sure they both know your intentions. The WORST THING YOU CAN DO is get mad after you haven’t explained yourself (i’ve totally done this). It’s like, you spend all this time with your booboohoneykissmouth and then one day you’re like ‘hey i need to cancel our date to hang out with LILAC’ and booboohoneykisskiss is like ‘wait… we’ve had this date planned can’t you hang out another time’ and you’re like ‘I NEVER SEE LILAC BC I’M ALWAYS WITH YOU I’M GOING BYE’ … Then you’re in a huge fight and nothing is resolved and you feel awful all the time. You guys, i’ve literally experienced this 100 times. 

SO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR REAL IS, tell your booboohoneykisskiss how important your bff is to you. Literally just say, “Hey, LILAC is super important to me and if I don’t spend enough time with her I start to go a little cray cray, so I’m probably gonna be hanging out with her alot” and if booboo is like, “is it because you don’t like spending time with me” SIMPLY EXPLAIN that it has nothing to do with her and your bff time is totally separate. I mean, let’s be real, you probably talk about how amazing booboo is the whole time anyway, AMIRIGHT?! 

Do the same thing with LILAC, explain that you’re REALLY INTO BOOBOOHONEYKISSKISS and you’re sorry if you get sidetracked. Tell her it’s totally okay to text you and say ‘HI I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN ONE WEEK AND I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE COME OVER AND WATCH MEAN GIRLS.’ Ya know? Give her that, let her reel you back in when you’ve started to be a bad friend. If you’re clear with your intentions, everyone will feel a lot better and you’ll be able to manage both sides1..i mean !

Kristin Says:

First of all, I formally reject the nickname booboohoneykisskiss.

Second of all, I think USUALLY what happens in this situation is that BFF gets less time than usual because you are busy having dreamy-eyes and cupid wings and things. That is normal to a point, and I always give my BFFs a grace period of about 4 - 6 months of googly eyes before I take it personally that they aren’t paying as much attention to me.

HOWEVER I AM VERY UNDERSTANDING. So. Whether you are in regular-relationship-ville or googly-eyes-town, do these three things to keep the peace:

1. Have a night every week - TUESDAY, for example - where you go out with just your BFF. It is so important for us to have solo time with our besties, and any booboohoney good partner will understand the need for that time. Also have a night every week - THURSDAY, for example - that is always date night with your boo.

2. Include BFF in things that also include your boo (or vice versa). This doesn’t mean bring BFF along for date night without any forewarning. It means that a few times a month, at least, you should go to parties or gatherings with BOTH humans and/or make a movie & popcorn night with them if you don’t go to parties… you know?

3. When you hang with BFF, don’t only talk about all the love-town moments you have recently had with (UGH FINE) BOOBOOHONEYKISSKISS. Talk about your relationship, absolutely, but ask BFF how they are, giggle about memories, talk about other things going on in both your lives, etc.

In my opinion, this is a fail-proof plan of making sure that both parties get enough time with you and don’t feel overlooked. Just keep it consistent!

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

One year I made presents for my GFs mom and sister and they were LIKE SO HAPPY YOU GUYS. I just took pictures of their houses / animals and pasted them on some stuff. It was a tiny bit of work with a whole bunch of love. It was really cool. 

Have you seen the movie “The Family Stone” bc at the end Sarah Jessica Parker -who btw is the worst the WHOLE TIME - gives everyone in the family an amazing gift and then I cry for like the entire last 20 minutes of the movie and for another hour afterward… I’M SERIOUS. Small meaningful things are awesome, does your gf have a picture of her parents from forever ago? Get it framed and be like ‘i thought this would be cool’ or take a picture of them at Christmas and get it printed a few days later. 

I like the idea of gifts for parents, don’t spend a ton of money or try to impress them. Do something small and sweet that will mean a lot to them. Even if you guys break up in three days, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE GF THAT DID THE THOUGHTFUL THING. You know what I mean? 

If you think of something, go for it, but don’t try to go out of your way to give them something stupid like an all-in-one remote control… If you do, they’ll just look at you weird.

Kristin Says:

Oh my god. So much about Dannielle’s answer made me LAUGH SO HARD.

First of all, out of context, “I just took pictures of their houses / animals and pasted them on some stuff” IS SO FUNNY.

Second of all, then I laughed picturing you getting the exact same gifts from The Family Stone.

Third of all, then I laughed because I thought OMG IMAGINE YOU JUST ACTUALLY GOT HER THE PICTURE OF DIANE KEATON…

Oooooookay. Now that I have all of that out of my system (THANKS FOR STICKING IN THERE), I say: absolutely get them a gift! I agree that it can be something small and heartfelt, but I also think it can just be something small. One of my past girlfriends would always get a small thing of chocolates and a bottle of wine for my parents at Christmastime, and my parents thought it was the sweetest thing in the whole world. A small gesture to just say “Happy Holidays” conveys respect and love - and I think that if you and your boo are in love, it is never too soon.

Remember that money shouldn’t be a factor. Think about what you’d like to get for them, check in with your gf, and then totally do it. GIVING GIFTS IS THE ULTIMATE BEST YOU GUYS I LOVE CHRISTMAS EEEEEEEEEEEEE.

{christmas tree emoticon}{menorah emoticon}{snowman emoticon}{happy face emoticon}

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

SPOILER ALERT::::: I don’t know how to do anything without being dorky… so… 

DON’T buy anything involving diamonds, gold or platinum. 
DO buy anything involving an inside joke, her favorite tv show or justin bieber. 

DON’T plan a romantic getaway. 
DO plan a cute date night. 

DON’T give here something you inherited from your grandmother. 
DO give her something i inherited from my grandmother (like these).

DON’T get her sexy lingerie or edible underwear. 
DO get her granny panties as a joke or everyoneisgay underwear (sold here).

DON’T propose marriage. 
DO propose an L word marathon make out sesh ft. candy & popcorn.

Last but not least… DON’T think about it too much and DO have a blast. 

Kristin Says:

THREE CHEERS FOR NOT OVER-THINKING!

{cheer} {cheer} {cheer}

I cannot tell you how many times I have been like, “Oh man, SNUGGLEPUSS (a new gf) would love to have this thing, it is perfect and I will get it for her,” only to then have the item at my house and start thinking about how maybe SNUGLEPUSS might not like this or maybe she will think it is too much or too little or maybe I am just an idiot and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So, then I tuck the gift away or keep it for myself and go out and get what I think is a better gift - which actually isn’t nearly as good of a gift because it came from the land of over-thinking. Then, a few months later I confess to my over-thinking, and SNUGLEPUSS is like, “OH MAN I LOVE THIS THING, WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE IT TO ME IT IS PERFECT!!!!”

The lesson here is: go with your gut. Walk around the mall or the holiday fair or the internet and just think about small things that might make a person happy. Yes, Everyone Is Gay underwear is a great start. Also, Etsy has a million tiny cute handmade things that are affordable and just say, “Hey, you are cool, Merry Holiday.”

Por ejemplo:

This journal OR these adorable mitten-glove things OR this tiny lil’ terrarium kit that you can make together!! OR OH MY GOD THIS

{SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE}

Dannielle Says: 

I say in any family situation with any family member regardless of ages or genders or who’s around… lay off the PDA. 

I understand wanting to make your LUUUVER feel comfy, but a small hug will do the trick and hugs aren’t super gay. AMIRITE?

I also think it’s a good idea to ask your family grown ups what they prefer. Giving them a quick call to say ‘hey I’m bringing CHASTITY to thanksgiving and I was wondering if it was okay for me to introduce her to the kids as my girlfriend or if you’d prefer something else?’ Not only will they REALLY appreciate that you asked, it’ll give them the opportunity to talk to you about it. Some might be uncomfortable, some might not care at all and some might say ‘I’M SO GLAD YOU CALLED, HOW SHOULD I EXPLAIN THIS TO MY 5 YEAR OLD?!?!’ Then you get to tell them that it’s actually easier to explain to kids the younger they are because they understand it immediately. If you say ‘CHASTITY AND HOPE love each other’ they say ‘ok cool’ and then they throw a block at someone. 

It’ll be totally cool, be open with your questions and respect whatever it is that your family grown ups ask of you. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY. 

Kristin Says:

I actually disagree with some of the stuff that Dannielle said up there, which NEVER HAPPENS, so this is mildly exciting. I understand the general context of being respectful of other people, etcetera, however, I think that you need to be comfortable around your family, and I know that we ALL know that the kiddies aren’t going to be confused if things are done in an open and honest manner.

Here’s what I say:

1. Act like yourself, and don’t hide the fact that you care about your girlfriend. Hold her hand if you feel so inspired, put your head on her shoulder when you guys are watching a movie, and tell the story about how you guys were at dinner for your anniversary when Brad Pitt walked in and then you both squealed silently and then couldn’t stop laughing. Act. Like. Yourself.

2. Be open to conversation with your grown-up family members. I don’t think you have to necessarily call them beforehand (though you can if this is what makes you feel best!), but when you get a moment aside with the parents of the babies, let them know that you are totally open to their input. You can say, “Hey, I am completely comfortable answering any questions that MICHELLETANNER and RAVENSYMONE have (#babies) about me and my girlfriend, but I wanted to know if you had any questions or if you preferred to answer those questions yourselves.” 

The key here is your own comfort level. If your eyes bug out and you break into a cold sweat every time you hold your girlfriend’s hand around your family… then everyone else is also going to feel uncomfortable. If that is where you are at, then for now just DON’T hold hands! When I first started bringing ladies home, I never went anywhere near them in front of my family - because I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t comfortable. Now, however, if I have a lady home, I hold her hand and snuggle with her and feel totally at ease. You have to do what YOU are comfortable with, because your own level of comfortability with your relationship is what is conveyed to those around you. 

GOBBLE GOBBLE.