“My girlfriend and I started using roleplay during sex two months ago. We’re always fictional characters, and most of the time, we’re a heterosexual pair (like Harry and Hermione) and I’m the male. Sometimes even my girlfriend wants to be the guy and we have both dreamt about it being real. Does this make us, like, partially straight or transgender or something?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

—

Dannielle Says: 

Liiiiiiisten, all I want to do i life is play ‘Iago’ in Othello and play ‘Mark’ in Rent and play ‘Jamie’ in The Last Five Years…. Those are all boy parts, and I want to play them…but I also don’t want to be a boy…

I mean, i KNOW SEXI ROLE PLAYING IS DIFF FROM BEING IN A THEATRE PLAY, BUT STILL. 

It means that you like havin fun while you bone each other. And like, if you were partially straight (whatdoesthatmean) or transgender, that would be awesome and great, butttttttt I don’t think those things are based on one sexi situation, i think there’s a little more to it…

Just, don’t over think it, because then you guys will stop every time Harry and Hermione bone and you’ll be all ‘WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN’ when it probably means absolutely nothing… Ppl pretend they’re nurses and maids and ship captains and baristas and shoe salesmen and none of it really matters. What matters is you guys are having fun while you’re boning and that’s so important and you guys are so lucky bc fun-boners are the funnest of all boners. 

Kristin Says:

We just love, love, love to put people and ourselves into tiny boxes with nice, neat labels…and guess what?  That shit doesn’t work.  What does ‘partially straight’ even mean?!?!

Here’s the thing.  Wouldn’t you laugh if I answered this question by telling you that you were a 40/30/20/10 Lesbo/Potter/Trans/Straight combo?  COME ON.  You like to role play.  You get turned on by some aspect of whatever ‘male’ means to you.  Maybe you like to imagine you have a MAGIC WAND sometimes, and maybe you and your girlfriend both like to imagine you are having MAGICAL SWORD FIGHTS occasionally, but that doesn’t mean you are a partially-straight, transgender version of Voldemort. #hm

ANYWAY.

Dear Everyone:  Sexytime can be a million things, a million ways.  Today you might like to role play and pretend you are a magician-boy, tomorrow you might want to bone while watching 60 minutes, and Tuesday you might be in the mood for strap-ons followed by ice cream.  None of this has to be a big, giant, defining thing, it can be a part of your ever-evolving, totally awesome, sexual life.

…We cool?

Filed under roleplay sex sexitime girlfriend relationships boxes harry potter advice

157 notes

Is it weird to be a girl. Yet I only like anal sex? What does that make me?

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Ok, I don’t want to start this out by telling you to watch TV, but my first thought was MTV’S NEW SHOW AWKWARD…bc there was an episode where this girl wanted to take her boyf to bone-town, but she was all abstinent bc she was tryna get to heaven, but THEN SHE FOUND GOD’S BLINDSPOT and told her boyf he could take her be-hyman…..SOOOOO THAT HAPPENED ON NATIONAL TELEVISION…just saying. 

You like what you like. I bet there are billions of boys who are really excited to put their YOUKNOW in your WHATSUP, soooo that’s exciting for you. 

I dunno what to tell you, we’re all made differently and we all like different shit. I’m sure that you get shit for liking buttsecs, but here is the thing. 

be comfortable with you.

i honest to boobs mean it when i say we all like different sexi things, and although the word ‘anal’ makes me laugh for 5 minutes straight, it is not bc it’s wrong or weird or stupid, it’s bc i am twelve and the word ‘vaginal’ makes me laugh just as hard, if not harder. This will happen, no matter who you are or what you like, we are all different and some people will be like ‘WHAT YOU LIKE IT WHEN SOMEONE FLICKS YOUR TOES’ and the next person will be like ‘ON MAN I ALSO LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE FLICKS MY TOES’ 

you. are. normal. (or whatever, normal doesn’t exist, but you get it)

Kristin Says:

That makes you a girl who likes to have anal sex.

I remember a few months ago we had someone write in who was like, ‘Yo, I am a girl but I like MTFs and I also eat bananas, is there a name for that?’  Okay, that isn’t REALLY what she asked, but it was damn near close and I was like, SAY WHAT?  There doesn’t need to be a category that fits all of your exact likes/wants/desires for you to punch your time card in as a human being.

You guys.  Butts are sensitive like hoohas are sensitive like boobs are sensitive like backs of necks are sensitive like SO MANY BODY PARTS are sensitive.  Just because in health class your teacher told you, ‘This is a hooha and the peenie goes here and a baby comes out and then you get a mortgage,’ does NOT mean that you shouldn’t explore what feels good to you, and then do that thing.

I say rock out with your butt sex (#useprotection) if that is what makes you feel good.  If anyone tells you there is something wrong with you, tell them they are just afraid of butts and Kristin says that it is also okay to not like butt sex, and that JESUS SAYS DON’T PASS JUDGEMENT.

They will be so overwhelmed with the fact that you used Jesus as a way of defending butt sex that they won’t even know what hit ‘em.

BOOM.

Filed under sex sexitime anal sex gods blindspot awkward boobs butt sex JESUS SAYS DON'T PASS JUDGEMENT advice

55 notes

Footer