“What do you get a newish girlfriend - who is really brilliant and cool - for Christmas without being dorky or too intense?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

SPOILER ALERT::::: I don’t know how to do anything without being dorky… so… 

DON’T buy anything involving diamonds, gold or platinum. 
DO buy anything involving an inside joke, her favorite tv show or justin bieber. 

DON’T plan a romantic getaway. 
DO plan a cute date night. 

DON’T give here something you inherited from your grandmother. 
DO give her something i inherited from my grandmother (like these).

DON’T get her sexy lingerie or edible underwear. 
DO get her granny panties as a joke or everyoneisgay underwear (sold here).

DON’T propose marriage. 
DO propose an L word marathon make out sesh ft. candy & popcorn.

Last but not least… DON’T think about it too much and DO have a blast. 

Kristin Says:

THREE CHEERS FOR NOT OVER-THINKING!

{cheer} {cheer} {cheer}

I cannot tell you how many times I have been like, “Oh man, SNUGGLEPUSS (a new gf) would love to have this thing, it is perfect and I will get it for her,” only to then have the item at my house and start thinking about how maybe SNUGLEPUSS might not like this or maybe she will think it is too much or too little or maybe I am just an idiot and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So, then I tuck the gift away or keep it for myself and go out and get what I think is a better gift - which actually isn’t nearly as good of a gift because it came from the land of over-thinking. Then, a few months later I confess to my over-thinking, and SNUGLEPUSS is like, “OH MAN I LOVE THIS THING, WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE IT TO ME IT IS PERFECT!!!!”

The lesson here is: go with your gut. Walk around the mall or the holiday fair or the internet and just think about small things that might make a person happy. Yes, Everyone Is Gay underwear is a great start. Also, Etsy has a million tiny cute handmade things that are affordable and just say, “Hey, you are cool, Merry Holiday.”

Por ejemplo:

This journal OR these adorable mitten-glove things OR this tiny lil’ terrarium kit that you can make together!! OR OH MY GOD THIS

image

{SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE}

Filed under advice girlfriend diamonds grandmother lingerie sexy mitten etsy

79 notes

“So despite the fact I am in a long term lady loving relationship… I am IN LOVE with Demi Lovato… what do I do?!!”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

Here is the thing about Demi Lovato… It’s nearly impossible to NOT be in love with her. So, if your issue is with your girlf, she thinks you should settle down… then you need to calmly explain to her that Demi Lovato is perfect and you can’t be held accountable. 

Here is the thing about life… We all get crushes all the time and those crushes are especially awesome when the human you’re crushing on is a celebrity that you’ll prolly never hang out with. Crush are fun, they’re harmless and IN MOST CASES, they have nothing to do with the relationship you’re actually in, you can be totally completely 100% in love with a human and also have a giant crush on Demi Lovato. TRUST ME.

Keep on Crushin’ on®

Kristin Says:

Personally, I think you should start by asking your girlfriend if she is comfortable wearing a Demi Lovato mask next time you make-out.

HERE’S WHY.

You’ll be like, “Listen GIRLFRIEND WHOM I LOVE, I have a total crush on Demi Lovato and I know it’s totally healthy and fine and I love you to bits, but I think I should get to kiss her ONE TIME via you in a mask.” Then your GF will be like, “YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL, I WILL NOT WEAR A DEMI LOVATO MASK AND THEN KISS YOU.” Then you say, “okay but first read this entry by the very wise Kristin Russo,” and have her read on:

Dearest GF of Anonymous, this part is for you: Please, please, please just trust me and tape a picture of Demi Lovato to your head. PLEASE JUST DO IT FOR ME. Please?

Okay, so now that your GF has obviously been convinced by my charm, she has a picture of Demi Lovato taped to her face with a mouth-hole cut out. NOW KISS HER MOUTH.

…

…

…

If both of you are not HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING then I give up.

If you are both hysterically laughing, then my plan worked and now you can not only have a crush on Demi Lovato, but you can have a healthy laugh about the whole thing with your girlfriend who you love, and always refer back to that hilarious time that Kristin Russo from Everyone Is Gay made you kiss through a piece of Demi-paper.

You. Are. Welcome.

Filed under advice demi lovato relationship sexy beautiful crush mask

142 notes

“I met literally, without exaggeration, the most attractive man I have ever seen in my life today in a college class, and we became fast friends. I don’t want a relationship with him, since I already have a boyfriend who I love dearly, but I am actually incapable of getting over how ridiculously good looking he is. How do I get over all of his attractive qualities, habits, and looks (oh my god his looks) and see him as a platonic friend, instead of swooning?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

Picture him pooping. 

Kristin Says:

Ask him if you can take a picture of him holding a sign that says, “Kittens are ugly and so is your mom,” and then put it in the from part of your wallet. Every time you look at him and start to swoon, look at the picture and remember HE CAN’T BE CUTE IF HE THINKS KITTENS ARE UGLY.

#suspendeddisbelief

Filed under advice attractive man poop kittens sexy mom

151 notes

“I am a girl who likes girls (and still coming to terms with this) dating this amazing person who happens to be a transboy and I am having trouble with the grey area between genders and basically I saw my boyfriend’s boobs and I’m freaking out a little. I just don’t know how to see him when my brain says ‘boyfriend’ and everything else is blurry and grey. Whatttt do I do with this?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

This is super interesting bc we hear from a lot of people are on the other side of the grey area. The transboys who don’t really feel like getting rid of their boobs just yet, but they don’t know what that means for them. Both sides are in tough sitch bc we ALL live in a world where you’re told to choose your gender and certain things go along with that gender and you have to be all the way one or the other, in between doesn’t exist. Which isn’t fair or true AT ALL.

For you, CENTENNIAL (thatsyourname), I want you to be totally okay with the fact that you don’t know exactly how you feel. A lot of times we push our emotions into a corner in the back of our heads bc we think we’re not supposed to feel them when IN REALITY, we just need to deal with those feelings. So, you feel weird, which is totally fine. FEEL THAT FEELING and be OKAY WITH THE FACT THAT YOU’RE FEELING IT. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Number two… talk abou tit…. (AHAHAH i meant ‘about it’ but i accidentally typed ‘abou tit’ and it’s just soooooo appropriate for the quesh). 

Ahem. Talk about it. 

This is all a part of a long process and the best way for you to feel comfortable is to legit be involved in the process, to know what your boyfriend is thinking, to know how long certain things will take, to know the next steps and to know exactly how he feels about everything. 

When it comes down to it, you love him for him, you don’t love him just bc he doesn’t have boobs, you know? So, the fact that he DOES have boobs, shouldn’t really change your feelings for him. It can confuse you a little, make you think, make you wonder, make you stare, but most of that can be figured out with a little bit of chit chat and a lotta cuddles.

Kristin Says: 

Might I stress that nearly anything can be solved with ‘a little bit of chit chat and a lotta cuddles’?  That should really be our next t-shirt…”Everyone Is Gay: A little bit o’ chit chat and a lotta cuddles.” #perfectslogan

Annnnywayyyy.

The thing I want to highlight from up in Dannielle’s totally bangin’ answer is the part where you accept the fact that you feel a little weird.  So, so many things we feel become unmanageable only because we fight against feeling them, when in reality we can just say, “Oh, hey feeling, I feel you and this is why I feel you. I am going to be open about feeling you, and talk to my boyfriend about feeling you.” Nine times outta ten, that feeling becomes just another tiny feeling in a sea of important feelings once we face it head on. #applydirectlytotheforehead #headon

You have grown up in a world where you are told that the sky is blue, the grass is green, girls have boobs and boys have commitment issues. So of course you are going to have to take a moment and go through a bit of a process when you begin to understand that the reality of the situation is that you can have brown grass and grey skies, the words ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ don’t have exclusive meanings or shapes, and your boyfriend can have boobs. Right now you know it’s true, but that reality doesn’t line up with all of those things you have been imagining your whole life.

You, my dear, are allowed to say to PERENNIAL (perennial & centennial sittin’ in a tree), “Hey, P, I really like you - I just have been feeling weird because I was looking at you as my boyfriend but then I also see your boobs, and I like all of you and all of your parts, I am just really new to this and feeling confused.” Perennial can they say back to you (and likely will), “Hey, Centennial, I totally get that and I am glad that you are talking to me about it. This is how I feel about your feelings (insert feeling talk here), and can you come on over here and kiss me now?”

The bottom line here is that you should begin looking at Perennial as your boo, whether that be a boyfriend, a partner, a honeypie, or a sexy love muffin…but those terms do not have to come along with a rigidly defined body or personality. Your love muffin can be everything you ever imagined with or without a pair of knockers. Dig?

Filed under advice reality girl lgbtq transgender everyone is gay boobs confusion sexy love muffin honey pie

65 notes

So I just started dating this girl and I really like her, she's super cute and awesome ect. ect. but the thing is this: she has all these past profile pics on facebook of her with other girlfriends, I mean like ex girlfriends that she's been broken up with for a really long time. And not just smiling together cute pics but like kissing sexy pics and lots of them. I don't really want to talk to her about it because A. We haven't been dating that long and B. It's FACEBOOK. It's stupid, it doesn't really matter, except that it's not and it does. It totally bugs me that when I want to gaze at her sexy face I have to also see all her exes. I mean after a break up don't you de-Whatshername you facebook or no?

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says: 

I meannnnn. To be totally honest, it’s just going to continue to bug you forevs. So, you should just tell her. 

BUT YOU GUYS IT’S FACEBOOK. 

I understand your POV, for sure. but my immediate reaction when I start dating someone is not ‘i want to kiss her, better take my old pixx off facebook’ … soooooo… Don’t be upset with her BEFORE talking to her about it. If you’re just like ‘here’s the thing, sometimes i look through all your facebook pix b/c you’re really adorable, and it makes me feel weird to see you making out with your exes’ then chances are she’ll be like ‘oh, i didn’t even think about that, haha’ 

unless she’s caught up in a bunch of ex-drama, in which case she’ll be like ‘WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT, YOU’RE THE WORST’ and you’ll be like ‘oooookay…’ and you’ll walk away slowly cuz bitch is cray-zay.

Kristin Says:

Is it bad that I think bitch is cray-cray a TEENSY bit already for having pictures of herself making out with tons of ladies all over the place?  I mean, listen.  I am thirty years old and the internet didn’t exist until I was like, already a mother of four or whatever, but I don’t know why you’d have pictures of yourself mashing faces with anyone on Facebook.  If there are a handful of photos of her with an ex where they are smiling and laughing, FINE, but if there is more than one photo posted of her with her mouth attached to another person’s mouth, she needs to CALM DOWN.

None of that really helps you though, so let me try again.  Dannielle is right: it isn’t fair to get upset with her before you talk to her about it, but you should DEFINITELY talk to her about your feelings on the issue.  It doesn’t have to be a sit down talk where everyone has serious faces and you wear all black and there are solemn horns playing in the background (SOLEMN HORNS #hahaha).  Just chat her and be like, ‘Yo, I missed your face and when I signed on to Facebook to see that sweet smile, instead I got to see Anita’s tonsils…what is that all about?!”

She should be like, “WHOA, dude. Apologies. Lemme go fix that and stop being all face-smashed on everyone for all the internet to see.”  If she insists on having her kisspics all over the place, and you aren’t comfortable with it, I’d take a few steps back and look elsewhere for a lady.  You have my vote of confidence on finding that offensive…and there are a shit ton of other girls out there who are super cute and awesome and also discreet about their make-out photos.

Filed under advice facebook sexy kissing apologies confidence super cute

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