-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

I think you should focus on the positive when you’re talking to your parents. When they’re like ‘are you strappin down your rack because you wanna be a boy?’ and you scream ‘I DONT WANNA BE A BOY’ … even though it isn’t defensive, it sounds that way. IIIIIIIII know you just don’t really know what to say to that because it’s such a weird question (i mean, when it comes down to it, what does gender really have to do with boobs?? we could talk for hours about that…)  BUT WE DON’T TALK TO OUR PARENTS ABOUT THAT YOU GUYS. So, like i said, it sounds sort of defensive and they automatically think you’re hiding something.

So focus on the positive. Tell them that smaller boobies make you more comfortable and why. You want to be able to wear the clothes you like, you want to feel more confident bc your boobies shouldn’t have to be your body’s center piece, your back hurts less, you can dance way harder, you don’t feel judged immediately… etc. I had a friend who got a breast reduction surgery when she was 18, and because she communicated the positive effects of the surgery to her parents, they totally supported her and were so happy for her when she got it done. Her self esteem has SOARED since then (and she totally has a husband and gets manicures…#stereotypicalgirlstuff)

ALSO PUNKY BREWSTER DID IT.

I think parents are more understanding than we give them credit for… as long as you’re being open with them and they can understand why you’re doing the things you’re doing, they get it. We just freak out on our insides and feel like they won’t get it, so we yell and scream. 

Kristin Says:

OMG PUNKY BREWSTER TOTALLY DID IT.

First off - no, you are not abnormal for binding your boobs. I f*cking hate my boobs, you guys. They drive me insane, they weigh like a million pounds each (approximately), and they annoy me and make me feel gross at least 50% of the time. I’m not sure why I’m not binding my own boobs, honestly.

My relationship with my boobs has zero to do with my sexuality. It’s a body thing for me, and it also has nothing to do with my gender identity. I think there are a lot of people who feel like you, and I think it is awesome that you are doing things to make yourself feel more comfortable in your own skin.

As far as your parents are concerned, I think you just tell it to them like it is - and just like Dannielle said, do it in a calm, even manner. Explain to them that you understand why they might associate boob-binding with gender identity, since it is most commonly shown to the world through a transgender lens, but that for you that isn’t the case, and that if you were questioning your identity you would let them know.

We all have really specific relationships with our own bodies, and learning how to navigate that and how to make ourselves feel comfortable is an awesome thing. YOU ARE DOING GREAT. 

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

1. When you see her across the room, catch her eye, point to your boobs and give her a thumbs up.

2. Say “Did you catch the L Word last week” and if she says ‘no, was it any good’ THEN SHE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THE L WORD HASN’T BEEN ON TV FOR YEARS.

3. Pass her a note that says “bffe or make outs? circle one” and if she circles bffe don’t try to make out with her. 

4. Ask her what her favorite everyone is gay webcast is and if she says ‘whats that’ show her THIS and then make out. we will turn her gay for you. 

5. Start wearing a patch that says ‘i’m secretly gay’ on your backpack… let her make the first move.

Kristin Says:

1. Say, “Hey, what came first the chicken or the egg?” and then before she responds shout, “DEPENDS ON IF YOU WANT TO KISS ME OR NOT AM I RIGHT?!”

2. Read her BODY LANGUAGE #sick. Please refer to this “how to tell if someone wants to make out with you by how they giggle with you” instructional video.

3. Softly hum three different Tegan and Sara songs in succession. If she never interrupts you, she wants to make out with you. If she says, “what are you humming,” say, “Tegan and Sara” and then pucker your lips REALLY DRAMATICALLY and sit there until she kisses you. If she doesn’t kiss you, return to humming until you complete all three songs.

4. Draw a picture of her face and give it to her, and say, “That is a picture of you that I made, where you want to make out with me but I can’t tell because you haven’t actually made out with me. Sometimes life is confusing just like art.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

You guys, gender makes everything soooooo complicated. I could be completely wrong, but I believe Transgender is a feeling that your gender does not comply directly with the body you were born with SLASH the body you were born with is considered one gender by everyone else around you, but in your heart and soul you are another gender. I think Transsexual is what happens when there are surgeries and body parts and what not. I could be wrong, this is just my understanding BUT EVERYTHING CHANGES ALL THE TIME SO WHO KNOWS. 

If this human with a blog is claiming to be transgender just to make a statement, I guess, more power to them?? I’m sure a ton of people probably don’t agree with me, but you guys I don’t think gender should exist. I just don’t. I know maybe i’m a total weirdo for thinking that, but I think if you feel like a ‘boy,’ you’re still saying ‘there is a boy and there is a girl and i’m choosing which one I am’…when, like, shouldn’t we all be able to live our lives and have our bodies be whoever we want to be? We are all born in different bodies, no two bodies are exactly the same, so how TF are we supposed to chose between two options??! Can’t we all just be who we are and not have to answer any questions!? 

I think this person who is standing up to say “hey, i’m transgender because EFF the fact that I have to be born one way and claim that i am that way for the rest of my life” is totally okay. I do think, however, if this human is making other transfolk around them feel like they are lesser than or that being trans is a gimic or something…that is not be cool. I understand the struggles that come along with being born and having your gender chosen for you for the first 15 years of your life, I know it’s not easy. I know we can’t erase the fact that gender exists. BUT ALSO, I wish we could. I wish we could all be the way we wanted to be and identify the way we wanted to identify without having to call it something and without having to switch from one to another. There is no right way to be a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl’ you know? We just think there is because that’s what we’re told…

Kristin Says:

Here’s how I feel: Just like being a “girl” or being “gay” is a different experience for each and every person on this planet, so is being trans. For some people, being trans means that they were born a genetic female and exist as a male (and those two things mean something different to everyone, remember…) and then that person has surgery to transition to the body they feel comfortable in. For others, just like Dannielle said, it is much more about saying “FUCK the system that tells me who I am and that I have to chose a category that is imaginary anyway, I will not do that because it is damaging and untrue. Therefore I chose to call myself trans (and there are others who think this but call themselves other things… like queer).

Here’s how I feel part two: No one is WRONG when they say they identify a certain way. We get ourselves into so much trouble by saying, “NO YOU CANNOT BE A LESBIAN IF YOU JUST MADE OUT WITH THAT BOY, YOU DON’T BELONG HERE (in the lesbian club membership) ANYMORE.” 

Identity is personal even when it is political. If we stopped to listen to the thoughts and feelings of the person who was identifying a certain way instead of lambasting them for using the wrong word, we would likely learn a lot and come to understand that at our core, most of us are fighting for the same things, and experiencing similar situations.

Now, dear Anon, I know you are not yelling at this human for using the wrong words - so thanks for reaching out and asking us this question. I just got upset at a bunch of imaginary people out there who tell people who they can and cannot be based on defining identity categories in one, and only one, way.

If my grandpa told me he was a lesbian, I’d give him a goddamn high five and then get back to fighting for equality with him at my side.

**EDIT**

Click here to listen to a response to the above post and below comments on the June 15, 2012 KDVS Everyone Is Gay Radio Show.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

It’s so weird to say “normal gay girl behavior” bc like… wtf is that even?!?! 

I don’t really believe in suppressing feelings of any kind. I believe in denial, but like those are two totally different things. You’re asking us if we think deep down inside you, somewhere hidden, you were born a ‘girl’ but you wanna be a ‘boy’ and like…if you wanted that, I feel like you would know. Maybe you wouldn’t know how to explain exactly what you’re feeling, but I doubt you’d be super comfortable just being like ‘YO YALLS THINK I’M TRANSGENDER? I CAIN’T FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT!?!’ 

Denial: You have a googly feeling about something and you try your damndest to ignore it SLASH act like you don’t have it. 

Suppressing Shit: When you like don’t know you’re blocking out shit til you talk to a therapist. 

GET IT?! You can’t be suppressing it if you’re talking about it….You’re not acting like you don’t feel something, you’re legit embracing it. Which is awesome. You’re like ‘i wanna wear a strap on today…AND A DRESS’ and you’re fucking owning it and I think that’s great. I can guarantee you there are so many girls with long hairs who wear strap ons in every day life. I PROMISE YOU ARE NOT ALONE OR WEIRD and like ANY OF YOU who are like ‘i do this thing is it weird?!?!’ it’s prolly not and you’re prolly not alone. 

EDIT: While I was writing this Kristin was looking at THE REAL L WORD website and saying out loud what the pictures looked like and i just DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT SHOW… 

Kristin Says:

Listen.  Re: The Real L Word, I was just imagining how hilarious the new ad campaign would be if it was all of the ladies covered in mud and looking like idiots, and Dannielle and I fully clothed in the background rolling our eyes. 

ANYWAY.

First of all, I think a girl in a dress with a strap-on is ridiculously hot.  IS THAT TOO MUCH INFORMATION?!

Second of all, that is not the point, and you don’t wear dresses, so just…listen.  The point is, just because you like wearing a strap-on does not mean you are suppressing a transgender identity.  At all.  So many of us equate strap-ons with peniewoos, but YOU GUYS, they are not peeniewoos.  They are rubber dildos.  So, first of all, there’s that.

Me wanting to please a lady with a strap-on or vice versa doesn’t mean I want a penis in any sense of the word, nor does you packing a strap-on mean that you want to have a penis and not a vagina.  If you are wishing you were a boy, or you feel like are a boy, then that is a separate discussion.  If you identify as a girl and you love wearing a strap-on, guess what?  That is who you are, there isn’t a ‘name’ for it, and you are absolutely ‘normal,’ whatever the hell that word might mean…

The most important thing is to remember that ‘normal’ is a bullshit concept, with bullshit parameters.  You are you.  Wear your make-up, keep your hair long, wear pants, and pack em with a strap on.  Own it, and know that there are about 17,000 people reading this who are like, DAYIM THAT SHIT IS HOT, YO.

Dannielle Says: 

Hey dudes, HERE IS THE THING. Recently (in Colorado) there was a kid who wanted to be in girl scouts, and this kid identified as a girl. Bobby was at first turned away when trying to join the scouts bc Bobby was born a boy, but identifies as a girl. UNTIL THE GIRL SCOUTS WERE LIKE ‘WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE IF SHE IS A GIRL SHE IS A GIRL WHO ARE WE TO TELL HER OTHERWISE,’ AND BOBBY WAS ABLE TO JOIN THE GIRL SCOUTS AND MY HEART MELTED EVERYWHERE. read more…

So, a couple of things.

1. I used to really hate paying attention to the news and what’s going on in the world bc most of it is SOOOOO SAD or SOOOOO FRUSTRATING. However, recently I’ve been keeping up with MTVact, which puts a positive spin on EVERYTHING. It’s such a good way to keep updated without feeling like a daffydowner all day. You know?

2. Local Elections are on November Eighth and you guys have GOT to vote. This thing with the Girl Scouts is revolutionary in a ton of ways and we’re all super lucky bc the Girl Scouts don’t have to pass a state or national law to allow the acceptance of transgendered kids. What if they did, though? What if we all had to vote so that the Girl Scouts were ALLOWED to accept all girls!?!? We shouldn’t have to vote for acceptance and equality for all people, but we do. In a lot of cases we have to stand up for human equality. We have got to use the voice we have to make a difference. We make the decisions for this country, we are an important part of making decisions for public schools (vote on the members of your school board), employment opportunities (vote for the members of your city council), and healthcare (vote for your state representatives).

3. ALSO IF YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE YOU CAN STILL CHANGE THE WORLD. Just talk about it. If you’re concerned or the people around you aren’t educated on the goings-on of your community or you just wanna make sure your older friends and siblings vote. PLEASE. DON’T. STOP. TALKING. ABOUT. IT. …. ever.

Kristin Says:

Boom-shaka-laka-shaka-laka-shaka-BOOM. 

You know?!

I am assuming that after reading Dannielle’s brilliant words on why voting is important, and why you should all be doing it, you have abandoned Personal Post Paturvote to read more on your local elections so you are ready for pushing those ballot buttons on Tuesday…BUT IF YOU ARE STILL HERE, hello!

Do you want to know of a few things that are going on in this country where local voting has or will have a huge impact?  Here you go, pumpkins:

1) How about in North Carolina, where a referendum for a ban on gay marriage was passed through the House of Representatives and will now be put to a public vote in May of 2012?

2) How about in Michigan, where an anti-bullying law was passed by the Senate, but the law also “allows harassment by teachers and students as long as they can claim their actions are rooted in a ‘sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction.’”

3) How about in Washington, DC where the city council and other local officials are working diligently on issues like recycling and healthy eating in schools?

I could go on and on, but you get the point.  While presidential elections come every four years and are extremely important…local and state elections are equally important for so, so many reasons.  Read, sign up for news alerts on your phone, find any way you want to learn about what is going on around you…because putting people who share your beliefs in government positions can make all the difference.

Get out there and vote on Tuesday, and if you aren’t registered this time around, get registered NOW for next time.  If you aren’t old enough to vote, use your knowledge to inform other people!!  If you want to find out where to vote, or how to register, or a million other useful things, head over to Vote411, they rule!

Reblog this or tell your friends! Come on people.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!