“Are there any toll free talk lines if you aren’t suicidal, but just need help figuring things out?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

You know what, this is an amazing idea. 

There used to be this website called COMPASSION PIT that I loved, where you could just sort of vent and talk about what was on your mind. No one in there was a doctor or professional of any sort, which I preferred. Just talking it out is so nice sometimes. 

Honestly you guys, sometimes I just want to talk, I don’t want anyone to solve my problems or provide answer, I just want to talk and talk and talk and say stuff over and over until I get it out. 

I dunno if you’re into this, but writing helps a lot. Don’t just write what you’re feeling, write what other people are telling you to do and what your family things and what your friends are saying and how you would feel about every outcome. Writing helps me a lot too. Sorry I couldn’t help more, MAYBE SOME OF OUR READERS KNOW SOME STUFF (plz put comments on this post if you know anything!)

Kristin Says:

Yes, yes, yes, Everyone Is Gay readers unite! I feel like there are so many of you that may have better answers to this question… and that is what the Internet is for, right?

Also, capitalizing “Internet” makes me feel 57 years old but also it’s a GRAMMAR RULE so #ugh

Aaaaaanyway. My additional thoughts are as follows:

1. There is this site I just became aware of called Spill Now, which seems targeted at college students but I believe can be used by whomever. You can talk about something that is troubling you and then another user will respond. You can also sign up as a person who will answer the concerns of others. Similar to what Compassion Pit was, but without the chatting feature.

2. A lot of areas have free counseling for youth. I know that for a lot of us, “counseling” or “therapy” conjures up images of deep depression or others such serious issues, but that isn’t the case AT ALL. Sometimes having someone to listen to you as you talk is exactly what you need to sort through the thoughts and get to the heart of what is going on in your brain-head. In NYC, the Hetrick-Martin Institute has counselors available for any youth in the area, completely free of charge. In Lawrence, KS, there is a place called Lawrence HQ that has a 24/7 phone line that can be called for any reason - you do not need to be feeling suicidal.

3. This is a brilliant question and I agree with Dannielle — there should be more resources out there for us to be able to connect and talk about what we are going through.

Let us know if there are more that we are missing!

Filed under tollfreetalklines figuringthingsout CompassionPit talking writing Internet counseling resources connection EIG

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Any advice for a straight writer trying to write from a gay character's perspective? I want them to feel "real" and not one-dimensional.

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I mean, honestly, just write the book like you would any other book with any other character regardless of who their boning. Seriously, THINK about it, how different would Harry Potter REALLY be if he wanted to bone Ron’s brother instead of Ron’s sister? Not at all, he could literally act the exact same way and no one would be like ‘HE’S NOT GAY ENOUGH’ you know??

Or like would it really be THAT unbelievable if Frodo was gay in Lord of the Rings? I mean, would you be AT ALL SURPRISED if in Rogue and Storm got together in X-Men?? Would it be beyond comprehension if Katniss had a thing for Johanna in The Hunger Games??? What if Jacob and Edward ended up in love #twilight??

You guys…everyone is gay… Not like everyone is homosexi, but like, we are  all just people who bone people… you know? Write your book the way you would write any other book, with any other lead character and name the love interest something totally gender-neutral like…Taylor or Jamie or Brooklyn or Apple… It’s literally the switch of a pronoun, you’re not changing a character by making him or her GAY, you’re changing who the character is boning…and that’s really all.

Kristin Says:

Ay to the men. #amen

Insofar as character creation is concerned, creating a ‘gay’ character should run pretty parallel to any other character that you create…they have their hang-ups, they have their habits, they have their things, and most of those things are specific to the person, not to their sexuality.  As a matter of fact, their sexuality can be, simply enough, just one of those ‘things,’ you know?  When you say a ‘gay’ character, you should realize that you could be talking about a fireman named Ted who lost his son when he was a baby, or an architect named Susan who was married to a man for 10 years, or a playboy bunny named Tina who really wishes that her estranged brother would reach out to her so they could reconnect.  The variety is endless, and if you set out to create a ‘gay’ character, you are likely going to limit those possibilities.

Sure, of course, a character who is attracted to members of the same sex might have some confusion or hesitation or experiences that differ directly because of their sexuality, and if you are writing about a character who is being bullied or who is an LGBT activist, you may have to dig a bit deeper and find parallels between your own experiences and those of the character, but I imagine this is the case for any character, no?

My advice would be to pay attention to the intricacies of experience.  If your character is being bullied, try to find a moment in your own life when you felt like people were against you because of a part of who you were didn’t line up with what they wanted…I have to imagine that almost all of us have experienced at least a taste of that in our lives.  Be specific, allow your characters to be weak or strong or combative or total assholes.   Not every queer character has to be a pioneer, not every gay man has to face a bully, not every lesbian has to fall in love with her best friend.

Actually, scratch that.  Every lesbian has to fall in love with her best friend.  

Other than that, keep an open mind to possibility, okay?

Filed under straight writer gay character writing perspective real harry pottter x-men the hunger games twilight homosexual falling in love best friend lesbians gay lgbtq advice

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